Compassion Vs. Candor

Is it Jealousy? Is it resentment? Or is it just the fact that I feel like we are being lapped on the race track to pregnancy? I know it's not a competition, but when I hear about another one of our friends becoming pregnant, I feel combative, and belligerent. I feel left out.

In addition to telling our friends about our situation, we also express how important it is for them to be open about telling us when they're time has come or come again. That they shouldn't worry or hesitate. But is a little sensitivity to much to ask? Am I being unreasonable, like someone who's short preferring to be called "vertically challenged"? I hate the idea of people walking over eggshells for me, but I'd also rather they not pour acid on the gaping abscess over my heart. I know the world at large isn't going to stop multiplying just because a certain percentage of us can't. I would never begrudge a friend the gift of a family, nor would I wish them the torment of infertility. I fully acknowledge that our situation is by no means hopeless, and that for right now we have made the decision to take some time before pursuing treatments. But that doesn't make it sting any less when a friend tells us they're pregnant. A part of me knows that I should just suck it up, I should be happy for them... So lets just call a spade, a spade here: I'm going to smile on the outside, while I crumble a little on the inside.