Seriously???

Well I got to spend the rest of my afternoon yesterday with my feet up, in bed. The bad news is, it was in Labor & Delivery... Let me preface the rest of the story with the baby is fine, and so am I. But we did have a scare.


My appointment started off great, I remembered the list of questions I'd had for my midwife and she answered them all succinctly. Then we went over my Gestational Diabetes test results - which I passed with flying colors. Wooo! However, my lab results showed that I am pretty anemic. Which makes sense. I've been really tired lately, more so than normal. But I chalked it up to being on the cusp of my third trimester, and the fact that I haven't been sleeping great lately. My hips are starting to hurt more in bed, and it's getting harder to roll over. I also use about four pillows each night, so when I do turn over, I have to rearrange all my pillows every time. On top of getting up at least twice to pee... Anyhoo, to wrap up the appointment she checked my fundal height and grabbed her doppler. It took her a minute to find the heart beat, but that didn't worry me because I'd been feeling some movement. When she did find it though, the heartbeat was on the low side of normal. Around 121 bpm, where as my last appointment it was at 156. Early in our meeting when she asked about movement, I mentioned that the baby had been moving like crazy the two days prior, but a little more "mellow" that day. More movements, less kicks. So with that combination, she was a little concerned and let me know she wanted to send me over to L&D for a Non Stress Test. They monitor your BP, check for contractions, and monitor the baby's heart rate. They also wanted me to go down to radiology to check my amniotic fluid levels. My midwife, did her best to make it sound like no biggie, but when she suggested that Brian meet me there, I started to panic a little more. 


I drove myself across the street to the hospital, and made my way to L&D, shaking my head. After our little fender-bender last month I SWORE I wouldn't be back there until December... I handed them my paperwork, and they set me up in a monitoring room - not a delivery suite. Still it happened to be the same monitoring room we were in last month. Boo. By the time the nurse was hooking me up to the monitors, Brian was walking in the door. We had the sweetest nurse. She was an older Irish lady, with a thick but discernible accent. She explained what the print out and numbers meant on the monitor, then tilted her head a little to the side and told me not to worry, that everything would probably be fine. And that's when I lost it. Brian squeezed my hand and explained to her how it'd been a very long road for us, she put her arm around me offering a squeeze and a pat on the shoulder. They kept me there for almost an hour then sent me down for the u/s. The tech we had there was very nice, and was very honest about everything she was seeing. Baby looked great, fluid levels looked great. I guess between the NST, and the u/s they give you a score based on certain parameters. We got a perfect 10. So they sent on our way. It had been a very long day, and we didn't get home until almost 8pm. My appointment was at 3:15...


So I'm thankful to say everything is great, but man did yesterday suck. Please commence hoping and praying that the next twelve weeks remain remarkably uneventful... 

Because I'm Grateful

I’m hoping with all I’ve got that I didn’t come across like a complete spoiled brat in my last post. The reality of it is that I like to write ranty posts. And in those posts I tend to blow things out of proportion. Not to say that we didn’t encounter the world’s biggest tool in the form of a BRS employee, or that I didn’t cry while filling out the application for our registry. Because I did. I cried because I couldn’t believe we were finally in the position to do this. For years that store had been a source of heartache and misery for me, and I couldn’t fathom the concept that we were sitting in it. Registering for products. For our baby. And please know that I completely understand that being overwhelmed by all of that is a great problem to have…

And also for reference, blowing things out of proportion; usually funnier. 

I’ve done a little more registering, all online. And we did register with Amaz.on, which is cool because you can register for products universally – like for things on Etsy. By the way is it EEEEtsee or Ehhhtsy? I also want to thank those of you who recommended the baby bargain book. Which reminds me I have to give a shout out to Shelby who personally recommended it to me MONTHS ago, and I forgot. Until I saw it in all of your comments… Go me. 

There’s been a shift in perception for me. I think part of it due to feeling the baby constantly move and kick – Brian has too! And also just from the simple act of counting each week, and how far along I’ve made it in this pregnancy. It’s mind blowing and I am so fricken thankful every day. While I’m of course overjoyed with the idea of meeting our baby, I’m starting to feel a little sad that this pregnancy is almost over. I have less than 13 weeks left. And this will probably be my last. Yes, we have one frozen embryo, but who is to say it will make it through the defrost, and then take. The other part is, I’m not sure I want to go through the treatment rollercoaster ever again. Mostly because it fucking blows, but also because we’re still paying off this first one. And all of the factors as to why we might just have the one, is a perfect reminder of exactly how far we’ve come and how much it pains me to think about how there are so many of you out there who are still elbow deep in it.  Several of whom I am friends with IRL. I hope you don’t think I’ve forgotten. Because believe me, it never goes away. 


I guess I also just want to convey that on top of being grateful, I am actually very much enjoying this pregnancy. And now that the baby is more active, I'm starting to realize we'll actually have an infant to bring home in a few months. And the more I think about it, and the more I watch my tummy move from kicks and turns, the more in love I fall. It's breathtaking. 

Well my brother's wedding is done. It was beautiful and fun, and I've gained a fabulous new Sister-in-Law. You might remember I ordered a regular dress two sizes too big, because I was 10-12 weeks or so at the time. Then I got it and it was a tent. I think the alterations lady did the best she could, but it still kind of looked like a moo-moo. The bottom line is that it was just not meant to be a maternity dress. I loved the color, and it was definitely comfy, but flattering - not so much. 


And my most exciting update. I have a new Doctor! Or better yet, Midwife! She is part of a practice with three OB's, and one other Midwife. While she plans to be in town for Christmas, there is a small possibility I could end up with someone else in the practice on the big day. But anyway, she's FANTASTIC. My first appointment with her was two weeks ago, and when we first sat down they hadn't gotten my charts from my other OB yet. So we just talked. I told her all about my IF history, and every step of my pregnancy along the way. And  when I told her about wanting to pursue natural child birth, do you know what she said to me? "Wow, good for you. I can see how doing it naturally would be so healing after everything you've been through".. OMFG, SHE GETS IT. And I didn't even have to explain myself! She was so friendly, and so compassionate. And took the time to explain little things that are going on with the baby, that no one else ever has! She checked my fundal height - right on target! And showed me how to tell exactly how high my uterus is. And holy crap, get this: They have an office Dog. A sweet little female black lab, who wanders around looking for the next most comfortable place to sleep. Maybe hoping for a little love on the way there. SO COOL. I know that might sound strange, believe me, their office is in a large medical facility. Not some alley. Anyway, the rest of the staff seems really cool too. 


I go back again this afternoon because I'm so far along and because she didn't have my records, she wanted to see me again in two weeks so that we could review everything. I also had my Gestational Diabetes Test last Thursday, so I'll probably get the results then. I'm SO hoping that no news is good news and that they didn't bother to call me since I'm coming in. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. The stuff tasted like flat sprite with about a cup of sugar added to it. This coming from someone who rarely drinks soda. Drinking the stuff at least took the edge off being hungry, but at the same time gave me a bit of a sour stomach. All and all, not the worst experience...


Our first birthing class will actually be this weekend. It was supposed to be last week, but it's long story that I will fill you in on after the class. Sorry, I've been MIA... I've had so many posts in my head, but you know how it goes...


Update: Per request, here are some pics from the wedding. =)

Brian talking to the baby

Me and the Maid of Honor

See, it's not awful, just not flattering. I don't look pregnant, I look thick. Ahh well....

Registered Imbecile

I’d like to take this opportunity to thank the 17 year-old fuckstick behind the registry counter at babies.r.us, for helping to make our registering experience remarkably awful. Not only did you ridicule our choice to keep the sex of our unborn child a surprise, but you also managed to be completely useless in the mean-time. Well done, idiot. 

Okay, our experience wasn’t entirely awful. But you have to know me well enough by now that you understand my penchant for chastising stupid people. That is not to say that I never find myself in the position to feel completely useless and idiotic. Because I can be. And four years of infertility has helped make sure of that. You see, during those four years going anywhere near the vicinity of a baby-centric store brought forth so much pain that it was literally difficult to breathe. Hell, if I’m being honest, it sucked just to pass the baby food isle at the grocery store.  So I should have had some idea that after years of not needing said products, on top of years of avoiding them, that it would pretty much guarantee that I’d know JACK SHIT about any of it now that the time has come that I actually do need it. Jack. Shit. 

The evening started off by me almost completely losing it while filing out the one page questionnaire to get our registry started. 

Registrants Name: Melissa G. 

Co-Registrants Name: Brian awesomely supportive, even when his wife proves yet again to be bat-shit crazy, G.

Event date: Cue unrelenting tears. 

So I made it through the rest of the questionnaire and seven isles and 83 minutes later we had to stop because I couldn’t wrap my head around the magnitude of it all anymore. It was like complete and utter sensory overload. On top of that I have never felt so uninformed as a consumer. I knew almost absolutely nothing about the products. Who was reputable, and which products were worth the extra money? Do I need to sterilize the bottles? If so, why do they sell drying wracks? How come some have straws and some have bags? I’d done research on the basics like strollers and car seats, but I know nothing of baby monitors or what makes one diaper bag more useful than the other.  Imagine going to Home Depot for the very first time and being asked to compile all the parts in order to build a water heater from scratch. And if you don’t do it right, your peers will laugh at you and also, it proves you’re going to be a bad mother. 

We went two different times, and I left there more cross-eyed each time. Thank god for my best friend, Teresa. She has three boys. So she knows. And she’s going to make it all better. Because otherwise? I’m not going back.

Busy Bee

Gah, I hate that it’s been so long since I’ve updated. I’ve had so many posts I’ve started, and things I wanted to write here, but time has not been my friend. My brother is getting married in two weeks so I’ve been caught up in showers and bachelorette planning, yada yada. Oh, and you may remember I’m a bridesmaid. I ordered the dress when I was 10 weeks along, not having any idea of what my body would do. So I ordered it two sizes too big, assuming that I’d totally have double chins and cankles by now. I have rarely been so grateful to be wrong. I picked up my dress last week and it is a tent. The alterations lady did her best to reassure me that I did the right thing since I this is my first, and that she’ll make the dress look fabulous. I really hope she’s right. These pictures will be around for decades… 


So what’s next? My Blood pressure! It’s awesome yo! And let me tell you why. It has nothing to do with medication, I’m happy to say. Not long after my last post I met with a Doula who is also a licensed massage therapist - YAY. She spent FOUR hours at my house. On a Thursday night! She was so fantastic and informative, and supportive and warm. I love her to PIECES. I mentioned the issues with my blood pressure and my new low sodium regimen. This is when the “NEED TO FIND ALTERNATIVE PRENATAL CARE- STAT” alarm really kicked in. She told me about the Brewer diet during pregnancy, and how keeping a high about of protein in my diet can pretty much eliminate any issues with High BP. So I have tripled the amount I was getting, which wasn’t much since I was having a pretty severe aversion to meat. But I’ve been able to start supplementing with Whey protein powder and dairy. I make a shake every morning and it’s making a HUGE difference! I don’t have to watch my sodium intake as closely, which is great – though I’m still very aware of it.  If you’re interested, here’s the recipe I made up: 


8oz organic OJ
2 cups frozen organic Strawberries
1 cup 2% Greek Yogurt
1 Organic banana
2 Scoops of Vanilla flavored Whey Protein Powder 


Each scoop of protein powder has about 16 grams of protein, the yogurt has about 24, strawberries have 2. So by 10 am, I’ve already consumed close to 60 grams of protein! Now the recipe I gave you there makes over 32 oz. So I usually finish it in about a two hour period because it’s pretty filling. So after that, I get my protein where I can. Usually ending up between 80 – 100 grams per day. And my blood pressure is fucking flawless now. What infuriates me is that my doctor just wanted to throw pills at me – barely giving me the opportunity to do the work myself! Yes, I’m still talking about the OB I haven’t really ever liked… Speaking of which. During the four hours I spent chatting with the doula, (two of which were in the midst of a prenatal massage, yay!) I told her about my OB situation and asked her if she was able to recommend any local OB’s or Midwives. The ironic part is that she listed my current OB as someone she’d recommend for the type of care I’m interested in. Which is when I reiterated how perfect he is on paper, but personality wise it just wasn’t there. She then told me that if I wasn’t 100% comfortable with any practitioner that I should move on. She believes that communication and trust should be completely open and fluid during labor. And anything but can break down the fundamentals of what allows your body do what it needs to do. She presented it on a spiritual level, then backed it up with a scientific explanation of how certain emotions trigger specific hormones that can hinder the production of the natural form of Pitocin, therefore prolonging/delaying labor. I can’t remember the actual break down, can I use being naked on a massage table in my living room as an excuse? Regardless, her approach? ME LIKEY.


Sooooo. I have an appointment with a new office on Wednesday. The practice has three OB’s and two midwives. I’ll be seeing a midwife first, and I am so fricken excited. The other cool thing that my doula pointed out is that the newly built hospital we’re planning to deliver in has six suites with laboring bathtubs. While I can’t really reserve one now, she pointed out that most first time Mom’s go eight days past their due dates, which puts me in there on Christmas Day, and followed up by saying in addition statistically patient occupancy is much lower during the holidays, especially Christmas. So I may have a better chance. Of course that could be total BS. Who knows? In actual baby news, there has been a dramatic increase in activity from the kiddo. Especially in just the last week or so. Which is mostly awesome, the only non-awesome part is not bad - it's just weird. Cause the baby, well it's been turned in, like facing my back, and umm. Kicking my rectum. It's the most bizarre sensation I have every felt. And on that note! Happy Tuesday Morning!