Thursday, January 24, 2013

My Mama Must-Have's


I have slowly been compiling a list of the things I found absolutely impossible to live without since becoming a mama. When I first went to register I had a full on melt down and had no idea where to begin. There were so many items that I hadn't even heard of. And I really wanted to avoid having a lot of STUFF. I didn't want every baby product on the market, or the latest trend. I just wanted things that would make Leah comfortable and my life easier. So I'm thinking maybe there are a few of you out there (hopefully expecting by whatever means) that may benefit from this. 

In case you hadn't noticed and am a total nobody, so I am no way being compensated, nor am I officially endorsing any of the following products. I just like them, and think you might too. 

Video Monitor - I never considered myself completely neurotic, until I had a newborn. Initially I didn't even think we needed a monitor. Our house is a about 1100 square feet. It's old and has no insulation, plus I have bionic hearing so I can hear pretty much anything coming from anywhere. (so much for privacy, ehhh?) But I will tell you that being able to peek in on her brought such peace of mind. Especially when we moved her out of our room from her bassinet. We purchased the Angel Care Video Monitor with the Motion Sensor pad. Now, I can't say I would invest the money in this exact brand again, because A. There are a lot of false alarms with the motion sensor - so much so that I have that function turned off 95% of the time. (Yes, I know you can adjust the sensitivity) B. For as much as the unit costs it doesn't come with any mounting hardware - I purchased a separate clamp assembly, then Brian built a little (white) bracket we mounted to the wall so we could perfect the view. Regardless it is worth the peace of mind to be able to see her whenever. 



(the temperature is not always accurate for us 
because it's right above a heater vent - 
worth it tho since we have a terrific view of her crib.)
{Yes she is sleeping with her legs up on the side of the crib}

Bumpkins Bibs - This is where I am brand loyal. These bibs are the bomb. We of course did Baby Led Weaning, so Leah has fed herself from day one. Which as you may or may not yet know, guarantees a big fricken mess. But I love it. Anyway, these bibs repel moisture and have a pocket to catch all the food that doesn't make it into her mouth or back onto the highchair tray. (a little tip, I also put a kitchen towel in her lap, under the bib so that residual food doesn't end up in her chair messing up her pants) Anyway, these bibs wash easily so I can rinse it off after her meal, then throw it on the dish-rack to dry before her next meal. So I only go through one bib per day instead of three. And they are large enough to cover her entire torso and shoulders! Which means her shirt always stays clean too. 

Shopping Cart Covers - I wouldn't put myself in the Germaphobe category, but Shopping Carts iz nasty.  I once did a test in my high school Biology class where we walked around with little cotton swabs then tested them for bacteria. And shopping carts had more bacteria than Garbage Cans. (but less than shoes; shoes were the WORST.) Anyhoo, on top of that Leah wasn't really able to sit up completely by herself until about 10 months, so having a big puffy cart cover was safer for her too. Definitely a must. 

Bassinet - I liked the idea of co-sleeping, but I couldn't sleep while she was in the bed with me. And in those early days, I needed all the quality sleep I could get. I LOVED having her next to me, I could peak over at her, and actually hear her breathing. Though I could also hear each little movement and peep she made, which usually woke me up - but still I loved her being right next to us. 

Multi purpose pads - I don't know if anyone uses them the same way I do. But I put them on top of the changing pad cover. They are absorbent and keep moisture from going to the material underneath. I actually bought them for our own mattress- I have three friends whose water broke while they were in bed. And I did NOT want that happening to me, but most importantly to my beloved Tempurpedic mattress. Anyhoo, they are life savers for the changing table. Especially when you are a rookie with diapers and are in the midst of newborn excrement. (It's really runny, and often leaks up their back)

Wipe Warmer - I know it sounds extravagant. But I like to think of it more as courtesy on our part. I just hated the idea of goosing my kid with a cold wipey at 3am...

Sound Machine - As you may or may not know yet. Infants are used to noise. The human body is noisy on the inside, and when they come out to the outside world, quiet can be distressing! So do pick up a sound machine. We used one in Leah's bassinet, and I got so used to it, that I bought another one (which we also use in the car) for myself. And I am somewhat embarrassed to admit that I use it every night. 

Sunglasses - Yet again, something that may sound extravagant. But I think of them more as an investment in her physical health rather than a fashion statement. We bought Baby Banz because they are lightweight and have polarized lenses. I have super sensitive eyes, and cannot bear to be outside without a good pair of shades. So I have assumed that Leah is possibly the same. Our pediatrician agreed!

Baby Carrier - I will be the first to admit it. I am a baby-wearing fool. And I love it. My wonderful bloggy pal, Shelby lent me her Moby wrap. I wore it on a daily basis for several months after I finally started to actually get out of the house. I loved it because it kept her so close to me, she could hear my heart beat and I always knew she was warm enough (winter baby and all), and it was so easy to get around. I wore it inside the house as well.  But as she became more alert (around 6 months) she stopped liking being tucked away. Made me very sad, but I switched over to a Baby Bjorn that we had received second hand. Which I loved as well. Leah took sometime getting her neck strong enough, so the bjorn worked great as I faced her in towards me. Then as she got stronger, I faced her out and she loved that too! Now she is too big for both and it makes me sad... We also received an Ergo Baby second hand, but Leah was not a fan of that one from the get go. 

Things I don't think are worth the money: 
Bedding - Maybe I'm alone here, but I wasn't into picking a theme for the nursery. Maybe it's because I didn't find out what we were having, but my contention was that I didn't want to slap an identity on the kid just yet. I want to wait and find out who our child is to become and see what s/he grows to love as they get older. Then when we transition to a big-girl bed, we'll let her pick a theme. But mostly, on a practical note; Bedding sets are fricken expensive. I didn't want anything with the fluffy bumpers - I chose a breathable set. $20 bucks. And a set of sheets can run anywhere between $10-20 bucks. Two-three sets, and you're good! I eventually purchased a bed skirt to dress it up (a purple one!) Still all of that ran well under $100. And I guess since I registered for it, I only paid for the bedskirt out of pocket. :)

Bum.bo - It seemed like everyone made a BFD about these, but we hardly used it. Leah was not a fan, and my other two friends whom had babies around the same time felt the same way. Get a used one, maybe.

Things I wish I had chosen more wisely:
High Chair - I had it in my head somehow that Highchairs were overpriced and overdone with features.   But I was wrong. DEAD wrong. We went with the Fisher. Pri.ce Space Saver . It's horrible. The tray is rickety and hard to get on, and the cushion that comes with it is a joke - you'd have to wash that thing everyday. I took it off and left it off. And now I regularly stalk craigstlist for decent priced gently used Boon, because I do believe they are where it's at. (Thanks to MTL for the recommendation!)

Diaper Bag - I know, this seems like a no brainer.  You'd think I would have given this a great deal of thought, but I think I picked one after a long evening of registering and just wanted to be done. I didn't want to cram 10lbs of shit into a 5lb bag. I wanted something simple. Unfortunately it seems in this realm of product, simple = virtually useless. I still use the bag. But every time I open it, I give a little sigh.  

Anyway, I'm sure I will find more to add here, but I hope this will be helpful to at least a few of you out there!

Monday, January 14, 2013

On Being Out

And about, that is.

Thank you all for your wonderfully sympathetic comments on my last post. They made me feel SO much better. 

Yesterday when I threw up my harried post, I was so frustrated from a lunch we had just come back from. Leah is still napping twice a day so my life is pretty segmented into what I can get done in-between. 

7am: Up for the day 
 - Bottle
8am: Breakfast
9am: Nap
10:30am: Up
- This is when I typically shower, though I prefer to try to do it around 6:30am most times the snooze button wins. Our bathroom is against her bedroom wall, and we have an old house with no insulation. So it's not ideal to shower while she is napping. I usually wait until right when she wakes up, or when I think she's slept long enough. She is really good, and will entertain herself in her crib for a good 20-30 minutes while I'm in there, I can usually get my hair dry by then too. 
11:30am - Lunch
12:30: Books & Bottle 
1:00: Nap
3:30-4:00: Up
4:00: Bottle
5:45: Dinner
6:30: Bath
7:00: Bottle & Bed

So the hour after her first nap is spent getting us both dressed and ready for the day, then it's lunch time and by the time she finishes I have about 30 minutes before I have to start winding down for her afternoon nap. Which doesn't leave a lot of time to do stuff outside the house.  When I really need to get something done, I'll give her a bottle in the car at her normal lunch time, then try to make it back home by 12:30 to do her regular lunch before her nap time rolls around again. 

Which is what I did Friday. I rushed out of the house at 10:45 to meet Brian at one of his job sites so I could see some of his work, then we went to lunch with a client of his. I was pretty clear about the timeline I was on, but since I spent the entire lunch wrangling her by myself - Brian was entrenched in conversation with his client (rightfully so); I didn't realize what time it as until she really started to fall apart. And then I fumed the whole way home about how I didn't even taste the food I inhaled, and wasn't able to participate in the conversation, and now she was overdue for lunch and dangerously close to nap time. (When she's overtired she doesn't eat well, and then she won't nap well because she's hungry) I had attempted to give her some avocado at the restaurant, but most of it ended up in her lap, or on the floor - Sorry Mr. Bus-Boy-man. 


Leah has absolutely zero attention span. So I could bring the entire inventory of toys from our house and she would still want to play with the wrapper from my straw or the salt and pepper shakers. She is a great eater normally but food becomes a nightmare outside the house.  She is either so fascinated by her surroundings that she doesn't eat, or she tries to eat but the food ends up in her lap because she's not paying any attention to getting it into her mouth. 


The thing is, I'm not mad at anyone. I'm not mad at Brian for spending the time with his client (whom is kind of a friend of ours and going through a rough time) and I'm certainly not mad at Leah for being so curious of everything. I was just exhausted and overwhelmed by how much energy I expended trying to keep her entertained and out of trouble in a crowded restaurant. And I'll admit, I was a little caught up in feeling self-conscious about what a poor job it appeared I was doing. Which I think made it worse... 

So I find myself conflicted with two schools of thought. 1. FUCK THAT SHIT, I'm not taking her with us again until she is old enough to understand that she needs to eat and can't get down; or can enjoy a toy or five that will hold her attention for at least 30 minutes. Because it's just not worth the stress. It's really not. 2. People do this all the time, the more I do it the more accustomed we will both become to it - or the more desensitized I will get. But this theory is tougher to follow because we just don't go out that much. Part of the cutbacks/sacrifice we've made so that I can be home with her. Either way I am entirely resigned to the fact that having a little one is tough and the tough part is reasonably temporary. I love her and I knew 100% what I was getting into, and I am learning just as much as she is. 

It's just really nice to hear from all of you that I am not entirely incompetent. And it actually is difficult...

Friday, January 11, 2013

Lie To Me


At what point does leaving the house become NOT such a monumental undertaking? So far, I've only gotten grocery shopping down...And even that requires mental preparation. 

So I'm either over thinking it, completely incompetent (entirely possible) or it is actually really fucking hard when kids are this age. 

It seems like I end up exhausted or regretful with just about everything else I attempt. Please tell me I'm not alone and how soon it will get easier. 

If you don't have good news - just lie to me. 

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Alright, Maybe I Can Swing It.

Thank you, ladies for walking me through the logistics of it. And providing your own experiences. It has really taken the edge off of my anxiety about leaving her. I don't feel guilty about the time- never have. It's more about my being away from her. I know she'll kind of forget we're gone to an extent. Between naps and nighttime, she sleeps around fifteen hours a day. And she is VERY comfortable with my MIL. So I feel good about that. With the exception of the gloating and blustering I'll have to hear about her spending the WHOLE WEEKEND with her snookum-pie. (cue gag reflex) (and mama-bear reflex, for that matter...)

I genuinely believe in making time for Brian and I a priority. Leah goes to bed at 7pm every night, which gives us a good three hours each night. I do my best to have most of the stuff around the house finished by then. We also try to do a date night every month. The last one was in October, but it's been nuts. So the next one will be this week! Thanks to Christmas we have gift certificates to dinner and the movies!  

Anyhoo, I have decided to aim for staying there both nights, but allowing myself a little time to get used to the idea. And come game day, if I just can't handle it, I'll do one. Though I am preparing myself for how tough the days leading up to it can be. Thank you for pointing that out... And thank you again for the reassurances. I'm so grateful for the input. 

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Not Without My Daughter

We have a wedding to go to in April. Brian is in it. So we have to go.

Why am I making it sound like a bad thing? Because it will be my first night away from Leah. Or first two nights. That part is up to me. Whether it's one night or two. 

The wedding is only a little over an hour away, but it's an evening wedding at a vineyard. So driving home just seems silly. The rehearsal dinner is up there the night before, next day is the wedding, and of course brunch the day after. 

My choice is that Brian goes up Friday, for the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. Stays at the hotel that night alone. And I come up early Saturday, leave Sunday late morning. OR we both go up Friday and come home Sunday Afternoon.

A weekend away? With my husband? Sounds pretty fricken great. 

Now you know what I'm going to say; I don't want to leave Leah. 

I would not have planned a weekend getaway for us. 

Not yet. 

But the time with him sounds lovely. And I'll be honest, occasionally I miss the me-time. Don't mistake my incomparable gratitude and love for my daughter. But sometimes? When I leave her with Brian to run to an errand, I get in the car and blast my stereo, and it feels so good to have that little piece of time to myself, even for just a half hour or so. I know this is normal.  I know that a weekend away with my husband is a good thing. That it will be good for us. And I know I will rcover from being away from her. 

And Leah will be fine. I know this. We'll have Brian's mom stay at the house with her. I know we could bring my MIL up there, and get a room for her too. But it sounds more stressful. Taking her up there, she'll be all out of her element, and then it'll be much harder on all of us than it would to just keep her at home; in her own environment. 

This is great problem to have, I KNOW. And most certainly not the end of the world.

In theory, I want to go up for the whole weekend. And while yes, Brian will be busy with the wedding in part. It'll be nice to have some extra time alone with him. And I know I of course, will not regret it. I just haven't been away from her for more than 9 hours and I'm struggling with the thought of 48.

What did you do the first time you let your baby???