And about, that is.
Thank you all for your wonderfully sympathetic comments on my last post. They made me feel SO much better.
Yesterday when I threw up my harried post, I was so frustrated from a lunch we had just come back from. Leah is still napping twice a day so my life is pretty segmented into what I can get done in-between.
7am: Up for the day
- Bottle
8am: Breakfast
9am: Nap
10:30am: Up
- This is when I typically shower, though I prefer to try to do it around 6:30am most times the snooze button wins. Our bathroom is against her bedroom wall, and we have an old house with no insulation. So it's not ideal to shower while she is napping. I usually wait until right when she wakes up, or when I think she's slept long enough. She is really good, and will entertain herself in her crib for a good 20-30 minutes while I'm in there, I can usually get my hair dry by then too.
11:30am - Lunch
12:30: Books & Bottle
1:00: Nap
3:30-4:00: Up
4:00: Bottle
5:45: Dinner
6:30: Bath
7:00: Bottle & Bed
So the hour after her first nap is spent getting us both dressed and ready for the day, then it's lunch time and by the time she finishes I have about 30 minutes before I have to start winding down for her afternoon nap. Which doesn't leave a lot of time to do stuff outside the house. When I really need to get something done, I'll give her a bottle in the car at her normal lunch time, then try to make it back home by 12:30 to do her regular lunch before her nap time rolls around again.
Which is what I did Friday. I rushed out of the house at 10:45 to meet Brian at one of his job sites so I could see some of his work, then we went to lunch with a client of his. I was pretty clear about the timeline I was on, but since I spent the entire lunch wrangling her by myself - Brian was entrenched in conversation with his client (rightfully so); I didn't realize what time it as until she really started to fall apart. And then I fumed the whole way home about how I didn't even taste the food I inhaled, and wasn't able to participate in the conversation, and now she was overdue for lunch and dangerously close to nap time. (When she's overtired she doesn't eat well, and then she won't nap well because she's hungry) I had attempted to give her some avocado at the restaurant, but most of it ended up in her lap, or on the floor - Sorry Mr. Bus-Boy-man.
Leah has absolutely zero attention span. So I could bring the entire inventory of toys from our house and she would still want to play with the wrapper from my straw or the salt and pepper shakers. She is a great eater normally but food becomes a nightmare outside the house. She is either so fascinated by her surroundings that she doesn't eat, or she tries to eat but the food ends up in her lap because she's not paying any attention to getting it into her mouth.
The thing is, I'm not mad at anyone. I'm not mad at Brian for spending the time with his client (whom is kind of a friend of ours and going through a rough time) and I'm certainly not mad at Leah for being so curious of everything. I was just exhausted and overwhelmed by how much energy I expended trying to keep her entertained and out of trouble in a crowded restaurant. And I'll admit, I was a little caught up in feeling self-conscious about what a poor job it appeared I was doing. Which I think made it worse...
So I find myself conflicted with two schools of thought. 1. FUCK THAT SHIT, I'm not taking her with us again until she is old enough to understand that she needs to eat and can't get down; or can enjoy a toy or five that will hold her attention for at least 30 minutes. Because it's just not worth the stress. It's really not. 2. People do this all the time, the more I do it the more accustomed we will both become to it - or the more desensitized I will get. But this theory is tougher to follow because we just don't go out that much. Part of the cutbacks/sacrifice we've made so that I can be home with her. Either way I am entirely resigned to the fact that having a little one is tough and the tough part is reasonably temporary. I love her and I knew 100% what I was getting into, and I am learning just as much as she is.
It's just really nice to hear from all of you that I am not entirely incompetent. And it actually is difficult...
6 comments:
I am totally with you on this! After two or three tries, I just gave up on taking Little K to a restaurant for a few years. I finally started taking her to a few places when she was three and, while it was better, it was still exhausting. It got much easier once she was five.
The only thing that made it tolerable when she was younger was going to lunch with a grandparent. They are happy to take the baby while you actually take the time to enjoy your food. Ah, bliss!
You know, Charlie and I often go out to breakfast on the weekends for good practice. :) Yesterday morning, for example, we went at 7:30am (right after Stella woke up for the day) and we were the ONLY ppl in the restaurant. We enjoyed a meal out for $20, Stella got to practice eating in a new environment, and we got some fun "us" time. Maybe try that here and there?
Oh, man, you are bringing me back. That age is SO tough for restaurants, but I fell firmly in the "must-get-out-of-the-house-and-retain-some-semblence-of-my-former-self" camp. Going early helped, and going to places with counter service (ie, not at all "fancy") helped too. But I totally get just staying in, too. Best of luck striking your balance...
It will probably be easier once she goes down for one nap a day, right? I hope so.
My LO is 11 months. We go out no more than once a week, and often only once every two weeks. It's just too much work and not very much fun for me. We ONLY go out when both of us can focus on her. Well, most of the time. The few times we've gone out with friends one of us ends up on full baby duty and it's REALLY not fun for that person.
I'm sure it gets better.
We've had some good experiences and some major sweat breakout experiences, never know! One thing that does help us is mum mum's because he'll take a few minutes eating those and he likes to tear up a napkin and I can always count on giving him some tea from a straw- basically things we probably shouldn't do! We try to pick places that are really loud and busy... but when he wants down, nothing works. I hear you... it's such a treat just to actually get to eat these days!
Post a Comment