Zero To One Thousand Sixty

So like I was saying in my last post, it's reeeealy truly hit me that this is it. We have like 17 more days until our due date. SEVENTEEN DAYS!!! What the mother fuck??? 

I'm currently operating on three speeds: 

1. Drop dead exhausted

2. Wired like a meth head

3. Cranky bitch who wants to, but can't seem to get enough done. And no you can't help cause you won't do it right. (I believe the books poetically refer to this as "nesting", but I also currently believe the authors are morons.)

I'm going to blame that last speed on my current state of consistent sleep deprivation. Cause oh my hell does trying to sleep suck my ass. Being in bed is barely tolerable and then I have to get up to pee. And turning over in bed is harder than trying to like the Twilight movies. (I want so badly to love them as much as I did the books, but sweet Jesus does Kristen Stewart suck {ha ha} what little talent is in the cast to begin with out of those movies. Taylor Lautner is almost as bad but at least he serves as a little piece of eye candy.) What was I talking about? Sleep. Right. It sucketh mightily. But I fully understand that this is my body's way of preparing me to be up every two hours feeding and taking care of my sweet baby. In that case? I'M READY, YO.

Belly Wise all sorts of things are a happenin' in/on there. More stretch marks, yay. And cheese and crackers has Round Ligament pain come back with a vengeance. I guess that's because my uterus is the size of Nebraska, and it's getting harder for those little ligaments to haul all that weight around. 

 I'm fairly certain the kiddo is getting pretty cramped in there too. The last few days it feels like he/she has been doing squat-thrusts and lunges in an attempt to make more room in there. Which sounds adorable, and believe me I'm pretty sure I'll miss it some day, but right now it's getting to the point where it just plain hurts.

More than once I've mistaken my fingers for Vienna Sausages. My poor hands are getting so swollen that I have resorted to wearing this ghetto fabulous little number that I got from a Bachelorette party like a million years ago: 

I know it seems nuts, but the stones in the ring are so absurdly large that it makes my fingers seem not-so-corndog-like. Seriously by the afternoon, the lines around my knuckles are disturbingly smooth.

The girls. TMI warning - they haven't gotten any larger but something in them is a brewin'. I've been noticing little droplets of liquid from them since around 28 weeks, but it's getting more consistent now. And if I massage my breasts a little I can actually sort of make stuff come out. It looks like both colostrum and milk. Kinda crazy, kinda cool. 

In the five days we have made an obscene amount of progress in getting ready for baby. 

The furniture is finally in

Curtains are up

The baby's laundry is completely done, folded and put away 

Car seat is installed - though we still need to run it by a fire station to have it okay'd (for peace of mind)

Here is Brian being all ridiculously cute and daddy-like installing said car seat:

Bassinet is put together

Hospital Bag is 70% ready to go

- I know I should have had that done weeks ago, but read my last post if you're still not following. Ten percent of the missing items I need to shop for and the other twenty percent are last minute things we can't pack until it's actually time to go. 

And helping to make it all Super DUPER real: Friday is my last day of work!

So it's umm, well after midnight here and I am WIDE awake-asaurus- rex. 

Think I'll go mow the lawn or something! 

PEACE. 

Oh! I added two new pics to the Photo Gallery. One is a belly pic and the other is  a last minute u/s they ordered for a growth check on account of my MTHFR. Baby is measuring in the 43rd percentile. 

Enjoy!

Oh Right, We're Having A Baby

Despite the fact that we’ve had two showers and completed all of our birth classes (totaling 18 hours). And spent the last 255 days convincing myself that I really am pregnant. Sometimes I forget we’re going to have a baby. Like being pregnant and having a baby are two totally separate things. I guess in some ways, and in some tragic scenario’s, they are. But I’m not planning on any tragedies. I’d say we deserve a few years of mind numbing commonalities, no? (As do all of you, as well.)

Seriously, it’s just starting to hit me that we are going to have a child. Like, the next time I need an oil change, there will be a car seat in the back of my car with a little person in it.  Bananas... This whole time all everyone has ever talked about is “when the baby comes”, but the only thing I could ever focus on was the fact that I was actually pregnant.  And apparently staying that way. Yes, part of me acknowledges that there is the child we’ve wanted so badly growing right here and my womb, and I am so overjoyed and anxious to finally meet him or her. But somehow my mind never let me fully acknowledge that we might end up being parents in December. 

Now here we are... I’m 37 weeks along, which is technically full term. I can feel our little monkey’s movements so clearly that I can also tell that he or she is swiftly running out of room in there. Still head down, back and bottom is on/against my right side. (The placenta is on the left). But it’s hitting me now. REALLY hitting me. And I am SO fucking excited. 

It's In The Air

Brian and I were driving to our birth class last week when we noticed a house with Christmas lights up. 

Christmas lights. 

Since we started talking about the impending birth of this baby, we've loosely used the term "this Christmas" in reference to when the baby will potentially be here. Well now "this Christmas" is right around the corner and HOLY CRAP am I having a hard time wrapping my head around that. And you know what else? Today is exactly one month from our due date...

I find it funny however that at I am quite accepting of  and have no trouble counting down the days, minutes, and seconds until my maternity leave starts. Holy schnikies if we could afford it I would have taken the four weeks off before hand. I have a lot to do at work, and am eager to do it. But every morning when I literally roll out of bed, I shake my head and think  _ _  more days of this crap... 

How about some pictures?!

They're from my second shower, thrown by my friend Teresa and another Childhood friend. It was lovely and everything I wanted. Just a great group of ladies whom I'm grateful to call my friends. Eating, laughing, and as they all do so well, supporting me. The favors were homemade Biscotti cookies. The reasons I'm grateful for these are three fold: 

1. I fucking hate leaving a shower with some tchotchke crap that will only end up loose and rolling around under the seats in my car while the contents ultimately melt and the container inexplicably opens up only to stain my floor mats or goop up some crevasse I only notice when something important falls in to it. 

2. They were made from scratch with love on my behalf.

3. Mmmmmmmmmm COOOKIEEEES. 

Pumpkin Pecan Biscotti

She also did an Orange and Dark Chocolate Chip one - RI-donkulously good!

Next we have two other ladies whom I have shared this pregnancy with . The one on the far left is the wife of one of Brian's childhood friends. The one in the middle is one of my good friends whom I've known since middle school. It just so happens that we're all due within two weeks of each other. Good times.

November 30,   December 28,   December 17




On pregnancy note, my bellybutton is becoming ever so scarce. The stretchmarks I was hoping to avoid however, are not. They are small, and dark pink and on the underside of my belly. I can only see them in the mirror. But I guess they are still pretty minimal based on some other maternity pics I have seen. Plus I already have a ridiculous amount of stretchmarks on my hips and breasts from crazy growth spurts during puberty. And these new ones were very hard earned  and I think I might just come to love them. 

Here's What I'm Thinking....

“We Plan, God Laughs”


“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans”


“Don’t make plans, just planned to be surprised”


Between the books about birthing, and the medical professionals I’ve spoken with. Not to mention plain ol’ life experience, I’ve learned that making plans can often backfire on you. After all, I assumed that by the age of 32, I’d be pregnant with my second kid. At least that was my plan four years ago. 


This post is going to be about my “birth plan”, but I don’t want to call it that. Because even my super mellow, very open minded Midwife cringes at the concept of a birth plan. Her reason being that a small percentage of births are ever actually “text book”.  I’ve heard other doctors say they are concerned with patients having Birth Plans because if things go off course, the patient can get very nervous, agitated or even disillusioned. 


Which is another reason I love my Bradley Method classes. It’s not just about natural childbirth. It’s about being informed. They talk to about epidurals and C-Sections, and they are not viewed as failures, it’s just what happens sometimes. The important thing is that you’re educated on what your options are.


So here’s what I’m thinking I’d like from the hospital staff during the birth of our child, if circumstances remain ideal: 


(I'll be giving this letter to my midwife for my chart, and bringing several copies to the hospital on the big day.)


Hello! We are Melissa and Brian G, impending parents to a wonderful baby whom we don't know the sex of yet (and would love to keep it that way until the birth, please!) We spent over four years trying to get to this point, so this baby is very long awaited. We are practicing the Bradley Method and barring any unforeseen complications, hope to have as little intervention as possible. 

During Labor we would appreciate:

• No visitors (not even Mom's) :)
• Lights and voices kept low
• Minimal Staff interruptions
• A nurse who is open to or experienced with natural birthing
• No IV if possible.
• No pain scale questions or offering of pain medications
• Minimal Internal exams
• Please do not rupture membranes (break my water)
• No Episiotomy - Perineal Massage is preferred
• Freedom to move. i.e. walk, shower, use birthing ball, and laboring bar

Delivery: 

• Minimal coached pushing: we are hoping to use a method to breathe the baby out
• Skin to Skin time: Please place the baby directly on to the mothers chest or abdomen and leave to breastfeed and bond with the parents for at least the first 30 minutes. 
• Please delay cleaning, weighing or measuring
• Refrain from clamping or cutting the umbilical cord until it has stopped pulsing
• Father would like to cut the cord when the time comes
• Allow up to an hour before the placenta is delivered. No Pitocin if possible. 

A good portion of my labor will be spent meditating and focusing inward on myself and my body. Letting it do what it needs to do. I’ve been working on meditation for a few years now and hope to use the techniques I’ve learned to help me get through the most difficult parts of labor. Brian will be there to help and support me emotionally and physically. By giving massages, walking with me, helping me balance while squatting either on the birthing ball, or laboring bar, or in his arms, and offering encouragement and praise as I progress. He will also make sure that I am drinking reasonable amounts of water, and snacking as necessary to maintain my strength. 

I know the snacking thing is controversial. Our Bradley teacher advises snacks that are very easily digested, because your body will require so much energy elsewhere. So apple sauce, soup broth, a banana, juices – great, now I want apple sauce- you get the picture. This will mostly be done at home, and the plan is to labor there as long as possible. My understanding on the whole reason hospitals won’t let you eat:  in case they have to put you under general anesthetic. Which is rare during child birth, they mostly use epidurals. And it’s really just a precaution to prevent other complications. From having full intestines during surgery, or in case the GA makes you nauseous and you throw up and aspirate while on the table... And various other unpleasantries.  The truth is, they have other measures to combat this – what if you’re in a car accident on your way back from a pie eating contest and they have to stop your internal bleeding? They’re not going to wait 12 hours for your system to clear out, right? So yes, it’s safe to snack during labor, maybe just skip the meatball sub. 

Brian and I have also asked our friend Teresa to be in the room with us acting as a Doula. She will be there to support and advocate for both Brian and I. Aside from being a very dear friend, her qualifications include: Three completely natural, uncomplicated births. The last one being at home (yes, on purpose). We think she will be a very good asset for the outcome we desire, and we’re so glad she accepted. 

If any of you have a similar birth plan (Hi Josey! Hi foxy!), and see something I forgot, feel free to mention it in a comment. If you think I’m ridiculous for not wanting an epidural and would like to remind me “there’s no points for pain”,  feel free to kiss BOTH SIDES of my ass.

November Already

Brian spent all of last weekend finishing the nursery. Primer, paint, install new crown molding, paint new molding and existing trim, repaint closet door. He was a very busy guy, but he got it all done and it looks fabulous. By that Sunday night we were able to move the crib, and all of the items we had received from the family shower into the room. When I picked up the first bag of consolidated goodies a little sting of a tear hit my eye. And by the third bag, it had turned into uncontrollable weeping. I cried because I couldn’t believe we were moving things in to the room that had caused me so much pain for so long, just by simply existing. I cried because we have a reason to move things into that room. I cried because I thought of all the deserving people who are still waiting to have a reason to fill their spare room. And I cried because I feel so fucking lucky that our time has almost come. Brian didn’t say a word, he just hugged me. He knew exactly why I was crying. 

The room is slowly coming together. I have been progressively taking pictures of each step, and am working on a slide show to post for when we have it mostly ready/done. I wanted to wait for this last shower before I started putting things together. We need to do an inventory of clothes and necessities to find out what else we still need, which I’m incredibly humbled to say, probably won’t be much. Everyone has been very generous. The other shower was this weekend, and holy crow do we feel spoiled. This was mostly just girlfriends, and it was really lovely, and easy and fun. 98% of the ladies had met or known each other before so, it just felt like a gathering and not a production. No games (again), just food, chatting, and gifts. All I could have wanted and more.

Pregnancy wise, things are going well. I have to say I think the third trimester is WAY harder than the first. I’m so much more tired and slow, and it seems like regular errands take me twice as long as they should. The Friday before Halloween I was picking up groceries and a few pumpkins, I was so tired that I actually asked a store bagging clerk for help out to my car... that was a reality check.  I always have big plans for the weekend to kick ass around the house, but I inevitably get a late start, (due to being in bed) and end up taking a nap or at least have to sit down for a bit more than a few times. And also lately we’ve just had so much going on. Showers for me (and to other friends) And just various other activities. But I’ve blocked out two weekends this month so we won’t have ANY plans. I just can’t do it all anymore! 

How far along? 34 Weeks, 3 days

How big is the baby? Enormous. Okay probably about only 5 - 5.5 pounds.

Weight gain? 34 lbs. and still six weeks to go. Part of me doesn’t really care how much I gain, the other part of me says my Post-partum self won't feel quite as unerstanding.

Maternity Clothes? Maternity clothes are fine, but if I had my way I would forgo wearing pants or a bra for the next 40+/- days.

Sleep? Sleep sort of blows. My hips and back are getting pretty sore. If I’m not up peeing, or walking off a hip cramp, I’m rearranging the eleven pillows that help keep me comfortable for 7-9 minutes at a time. The good news is that because one night I’ll sleep ridiculously awful, the next night I’m usually so exhausted that I’ll sleep semi decent.

Gender? Let you know next month {next. month. (!)}

Movement? Lots. Break dancing, Yoga and handstands are my guesses, because holy crap there is a ruckus going on in there, almost to the point of it being a little painful. It pinches. But it’s still super fun watching my belly move.

Food? Food is GREAT. I LOVE FOOD. I eat it. A LOT. I have a snack between breakfast and lunch and one between lunch and dinner. And occasionally a small bowl of cereal before bed. I’m trying to keep my snacks relatively healthy (fruit or yogurt), but I will say my sweet tooth is very much in full effect the rest of the day.

What I miss? Not a damn thing.

What I’m looking forward too? HAVING A BABY.

Milestones? Being 34 weeks, 3 days. Having been thrown two beautiful showers.

Symptoms? Heartburn, fatigue, muscle cramps, little bit of swelling in the hands (I can’t wear my wedding rings anymore). Oh and I think I’m starting to get the cliché “pregnancy brain”, though I hate that saying and would rather attribute it to my lack of sleep.  But yeah, I’m pretty foggy and forgetful. Not fun. Still wouldn't trade it for the world though.