Here's What I'm Thinking....

“We Plan, God Laughs”


“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans”


“Don’t make plans, just planned to be surprised”


Between the books about birthing, and the medical professionals I’ve spoken with. Not to mention plain ol’ life experience, I’ve learned that making plans can often backfire on you. After all, I assumed that by the age of 32, I’d be pregnant with my second kid. At least that was my plan four years ago. 


This post is going to be about my “birth plan”, but I don’t want to call it that. Because even my super mellow, very open minded Midwife cringes at the concept of a birth plan. Her reason being that a small percentage of births are ever actually “text book”.  I’ve heard other doctors say they are concerned with patients having Birth Plans because if things go off course, the patient can get very nervous, agitated or even disillusioned. 


Which is another reason I love my Bradley Method classes. It’s not just about natural childbirth. It’s about being informed. They talk to about epidurals and C-Sections, and they are not viewed as failures, it’s just what happens sometimes. The important thing is that you’re educated on what your options are.


So here’s what I’m thinking I’d like from the hospital staff during the birth of our child, if circumstances remain ideal: 


(I'll be giving this letter to my midwife for my chart, and bringing several copies to the hospital on the big day.)


Hello! We are Melissa and Brian G, impending parents to a wonderful baby whom we don't know the sex of yet (and would love to keep it that way until the birth, please!) We spent over four years trying to get to this point, so this baby is very long awaited. We are practicing the Bradley Method and barring any unforeseen complications, hope to have as little intervention as possible. 

During Labor we would appreciate:

• No visitors (not even Mom's) :)
• Lights and voices kept low
• Minimal Staff interruptions
• A nurse who is open to or experienced with natural birthing
• No IV if possible.
• No pain scale questions or offering of pain medications
• Minimal Internal exams
• Please do not rupture membranes (break my water)
• No Episiotomy - Perineal Massage is preferred
• Freedom to move. i.e. walk, shower, use birthing ball, and laboring bar

Delivery: 

• Minimal coached pushing: we are hoping to use a method to breathe the baby out
• Skin to Skin time: Please place the baby directly on to the mothers chest or abdomen and leave to breastfeed and bond with the parents for at least the first 30 minutes. 
• Please delay cleaning, weighing or measuring
• Refrain from clamping or cutting the umbilical cord until it has stopped pulsing
• Father would like to cut the cord when the time comes
• Allow up to an hour before the placenta is delivered. No Pitocin if possible. 

A good portion of my labor will be spent meditating and focusing inward on myself and my body. Letting it do what it needs to do. I’ve been working on meditation for a few years now and hope to use the techniques I’ve learned to help me get through the most difficult parts of labor. Brian will be there to help and support me emotionally and physically. By giving massages, walking with me, helping me balance while squatting either on the birthing ball, or laboring bar, or in his arms, and offering encouragement and praise as I progress. He will also make sure that I am drinking reasonable amounts of water, and snacking as necessary to maintain my strength. 

I know the snacking thing is controversial. Our Bradley teacher advises snacks that are very easily digested, because your body will require so much energy elsewhere. So apple sauce, soup broth, a banana, juices – great, now I want apple sauce- you get the picture. This will mostly be done at home, and the plan is to labor there as long as possible. My understanding on the whole reason hospitals won’t let you eat:  in case they have to put you under general anesthetic. Which is rare during child birth, they mostly use epidurals. And it’s really just a precaution to prevent other complications. From having full intestines during surgery, or in case the GA makes you nauseous and you throw up and aspirate while on the table... And various other unpleasantries.  The truth is, they have other measures to combat this – what if you’re in a car accident on your way back from a pie eating contest and they have to stop your internal bleeding? They’re not going to wait 12 hours for your system to clear out, right? So yes, it’s safe to snack during labor, maybe just skip the meatball sub. 

Brian and I have also asked our friend Teresa to be in the room with us acting as a Doula. She will be there to support and advocate for both Brian and I. Aside from being a very dear friend, her qualifications include: Three completely natural, uncomplicated births. The last one being at home (yes, on purpose). We think she will be a very good asset for the outcome we desire, and we’re so glad she accepted. 

If any of you have a similar birth plan (Hi Josey! Hi foxy!), and see something I forgot, feel free to mention it in a comment. If you think I’m ridiculous for not wanting an epidural and would like to remind me “there’s no points for pain”,  feel free to kiss BOTH SIDES of my ass.