It's Coming

My weekend away with Brian. And away from Leah. 

Blaaaaarrrg.

Two very different sets of emotions. On one hand I'm a little giddy, packing nighties and dresses (which I'm not totally accustom to wearing) to look nice for my wonderful hubby, and enjoying the fact that I won't have to worry about getting diaper cream, snot, milk, or avocado on any of them.  All the while contemplating self inflicted injuries, illnesses and circumstances which would prevent me from leaving the house/my daughter.

I feel edgy. Anxious. Borderline fearful. 

I KNOW.

SHE WILL BE FINE.

But NO ONE can do my job, the way I do it. 

And that is how I want it done.

When I first posted about this you all commented about how the days leading up to it would be the hardest. And damn it, you're so right. So when I read your words I made a mental note to be especially kind to myself this week. And watch for the crazy to creep in. But it caught me anyway. I've been what you might call, difficult, all week. (There were some outside factor s too). But mostly, I've been cranky. Unreasonably cranky. 

I decided after all that I will go with Brian the full two and a half days. We leave Friday around noon. And return Sunday afternoon...

I can do this.

I can do this.

I can do this...

Right?

Alright, Maybe I Can Swing It.

Thank you, ladies for walking me through the logistics of it. And providing your own experiences. It has really taken the edge off of my anxiety about leaving her. I don't feel guilty about the time- never have. It's more about my being away from her. I know she'll kind of forget we're gone to an extent. Between naps and nighttime, she sleeps around fifteen hours a day. And she is VERY comfortable with my MIL. So I feel good about that. With the exception of the gloating and blustering I'll have to hear about her spending the WHOLE WEEKEND with her snookum-pie. (cue gag reflex) (and mama-bear reflex, for that matter...)

I genuinely believe in making time for Brian and I a priority. Leah goes to bed at 7pm every night, which gives us a good three hours each night. I do my best to have most of the stuff around the house finished by then. We also try to do a date night every month. The last one was in October, but it's been nuts. So the next one will be this week! Thanks to Christmas we have gift certificates to dinner and the movies!  

Anyhoo, I have decided to aim for staying there both nights, but allowing myself a little time to get used to the idea. And come game day, if I just can't handle it, I'll do one. Though I am preparing myself for how tough the days leading up to it can be. Thank you for pointing that out... And thank you again for the reassurances. I'm so grateful for the input.