Wordless Wednesday - 6dp5dt

No, I haven't test yet. 

And okay, so this post isn't all that wordless.

I just wanted to show you something that makes me smile. 

(fyi, posting a picture of a picture instead of a scanned file goes against everything I believe in, 

but I just had to get these up)

My babies. 

That dark mass in the shape of Montana, is my bladder. If you look below that near the most South-West corner, you can see a faintly highlighted white line with a computer graphic circle on it. Inside that circle are the embryo's safe in my uterus. Aside from the fact that it's probably a CYA for them, I just love that they gave us this picture as well. 

Maintaining My Hatred of Progesterone

I can appreciate the fundamental necessity of Progesterone, but in my life even before ART, it has proven to be a thorn in my side. My breasts are typically sore from the time I ovulate, to a few days after my period starts. Which is just over two weeks at a time. So now that I am post transfer, Standard Operating Procedure is to supplement the bodies own production with messy vaginal suppositories and painful intramuscular injections that require a 25 gauge inch and a half long needle in which to deliver the goods. I'm on day six of said injections and I already find myself wincing as pull my jeans over my backside. And after the shot on the day of the transfer I took the bed rest order a little too seriously and chose not to walk around after the injection. The burning sensation in my left asscheek had me tossing and turning until after 1am.  And last night within ten minutes of starting those bastard little suppositories, I had noticeable cramping.

I use a heating pad before and after the shot.
I've warmed the part of the needle with the progesterone in it, to thin the oil
I walk around after
Is it still normal to be SO sore???
The shot itself doesn't hurt - it's the next day that I feel it.

Oh and my girls are already sore.

That said, here's to eight more weeks of it! 


I'm feeling much better in general. Though I continued to feel bloated and tired from the OHSS, the Gatorade liquid restriction made a huge difference. And after the retrieval I felt exceptionally better with each passing day. The only thing I've noticed is that my belly is still a little distended, anyone else have that? 

Oh, one bit of good news. We have one little guy that made it to freeze on Day Six. A Grade II Blastocyst. I had really prepared myself for the possibility of not having any at all, so to say I'm relieved would be an understatement. I promise I'll get my transfer day pictures up soon - we've gotten a new printer and I haven't managed to figure out the scanning function yet. With all the amazing advances in technology I must say there is still no love for the printer...

Mothership

I took this week off of work, and with the exception of my boss/bff, everyone thinks I had an emergency appendectomy.  I'm totally in the closet at work, but in 10 weeks when I have real news to share I'll probably tell most of them the truth.  I knew that I would want this week to recover from the retrieval, (and boy was I right on that), but I also knew that I needed some down-time for myself. To be still. With my heparin and PIO shots being the only things with significant directive over my day.  And I'm grateful to inform you that I have accomplished just that.


I found quiet.


I found sunshine.


I found some long sought-after peace.


My week has been pretty fantastic and I'll likely share about it at a later date, but I've been getting all kinds of endearing harassment from a select few of you asking for an update. And I can't tell you how much that means to me - you know who you are. Part of me feels bad, because I assumed with having taken all this time off that I would be updating like crazy, but I've just spent a lot of time being a lazy bum and enjoying the sudden onset of gorgeous weather in the Bay Area.


Yes, we had our transfer yesterday morning. It went well. And wow, it was so much more emotional than I ever expected. The first part of our appointment was spent in Dr. 3's office, going over our embryo report. We have five little guys left:


1 Grade I - Blast, which by the time our actual transfer came, was a borderline Expanded Blastocyst
2 Grade II - Early Blastocyst
2 Grade III - Early Blastsocyst


At that point Dr. 3 talked to us about just how many we planned to transfer. He said aside from our one little rock star, based on the quality of all the rest of the blasts we might want to consider transferring three. This was something Brian and I have discussed but not really recently. And the weight of having to make a game day decision on this suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks. Brian began to speak saying that he of course wants the best chances of us having an actual take-home baby but... Then he looked at me and I couldn't help but take the lead and ultimately say what felt like the last word. I want more than anything than to increase our chances of becoming parents BUT, I just can't imagine putting myself in the position to have triplets, nor do I want to be in the position to have to selectively reduce. I know ladies out there who've been in both situations; keeping High Order Multiples and Selectively Reducing - and you're incredible women. And I couldn't think more highly of you all - it's just not something I can willingly put myself in the middle of. So I turned to Brian with the most sincere open hearted stare looking for his approval, and he nodded. Then I looked at Dr. 3, and asked him to transfer the best two. Dr. 3 said if I were 38, and not 32 he would be pushing for three, but he thinks we made "a fine decision"... 


The discussion closed with some information about the rest of our embryo's. The lab will let them grow to day six to see where they end up. Best case scenario we get three frosties. But more likely is the case that we end up with one or none to freeze. That part part hurts. I had put quite a bit of faith in the fact that we would have frozen embies hanging out somewhere. We'll probably find out tomorrow what, if any made it.


Brian and I were taken to the very back and given gowns and hair nets. I got a Valium, while he got to keep his pants on. I laid down on the table and they prepped me for the transfer. Then a nurse brought in a folder with the picture of our little blasts. And I lost it. I wept softly, while Brian and I looked at each other and the picture with sheer awe and amazement. Dr. 3 came in with a huge smile and demanded to know if mine were tears of joy. Of course they were. We're here. We've made it so far. And I'm the closest to being pregnant that I've ever been. 


My beta is Sunday April 10th. 


I have no idea if I'll test before then.