Territorial Me

I'm the independent type. Unlikely to ask for help. Not out of pride, but just out of holding the solid belief that for the most part, I can do "it" myself. 


This is not always the case when it comes to the dynamics of my marriage.  I am more likely to ask Brian for help than anyone else in the world.  I'm sure he wonders what makes him so "lucky".


But Brian and I are very different. He will always ask for help when and if the occasion arises. Because that's how his family is; how he was raised.


We're probably both at the end of each spectrum, and neither is right, or better for that matter.


Let me get to the point.


Brian is back to work this week. He's a small business owner. He doesn't get FMLA or PTO.


His solution to my needing help this week, is to refer to his mother. 


Two things.


1. Taking two weeks off was very difficult for him. And technically, it was more like a week and a half. The second week he had to go in for a few hours each morning to get his two guys prepared for the day/week. So being back full time this week is more than overwhelming for him. He has a lot to catch up on. 


2. I love my Mother-In-Law.


BUT. 


I feel very strongly about relinquishing any duties related to us and our home. Not in a "My way or the Highway" kind of way. But more of a "THIS. IS. MINE." feeling. 


And that feeling multiplies in a way I can't even describe when it comes to my daughter. Again, not when it involves Brian, but anyone else. 


Earlier this week I broke down and called my Mother-In-Law to ask if she was free one afternoon. I needed to do some shopping and could use some help.  She replied with "Of course! Do you want me to watch Leah while you run some errands?" 


UM, NO.


I wanted her to come with me, while I ran some errands. I need to figure out how to do stuff outside of the house with Leah, and it would be nice to have a second set of hands while I do so. But the very suggestion of her taking my daughter, or my leaving her, if even for an hour, ran my hackles up right quick. 


So in a classic passive aggressive move to punish myself her, I cancelled our date the next day.


I realize that I am being ridiculous and totally unreasonable. And I don't know how to handle it. 


Am I alone?


P.S. She doesn't know I feel this way. Nor does Brian. 


P.P.S. I know I sound like a complete petty a-hole.