Still Here, Still Pregnant

Howdy folks, just thought I'd check in. Still here, still pregnant. But I do think my body is doing what it's supposed to; I'm feeling tons of pressure in my pelvic region and some stabby feelings near my cervix. And I'm pretty certain I lost my mucus plug. Not that that will give any indication as to how far out actual labor is, but it's progress so I'm content with that. I don't really have it in me to come up with a witty post , so here is my templated update.


How Far Along: 40 Weeks, 4 Days


How Big is Baby: Feeling GIGANTIC. Seriously, I can feel the distinction between each foot that pushes against my belly, and they feel so much bigger than they did just two weeks ago. It's making me a little nervous!


Weight Gain: I'm estimating right around 40 pounds. Which is fine with me. Do I wish it was a little less? Of course. But I'm not going to beat myself up about it... And I haven't gained anymore weight in my last three appointments. 


Maternity Clothes: I am rapidly running out of shirts that cover my entire belly. Pants are mostly uncomfortable, I'm in a nightgown as much as possible when home. I haven't worn regular shoes in over three weeks. I am all about the flip flop. Here in the Bay Area it only dips into the low 40's - at night (50-60 during the day), so I'm grateful for that.


Sleep: Still not great. There are a lot of bathroom trips, and arduous attempts at tossing and turning that makes complete rest impossible. I'm always thrilled when I get a two and sometimes four hour stretch. And I'm grateful to be off of work so that I can take naps and rest during the day.   


Gender: We'll know very soon!


Movement: Very discernible. Baby G has been in the same position for several weeks now. From my perspective s/he is head down with their back facing out on my right side, which makes the legs and feet stretch across to my left side. So I feel the most movement on the higher part of my belly on the left and right sides. I feel a hiney and feet. 


Food: Mmmmm, fooooood. It's very possible that a tiny portion of the last 10 lbs I gained may have had to do with my taking advantage of holiday festivities and being home to eat whatever tickles my fancy. Sue me. 


What I miss: For the last 36 weeks, I've maintained the stance that there was not one single thing I missed quantitatively more than the amount of gratitude I felt for being able to maintain a healthy pregnancy. And I still feel that way, but I'm going to be very honest here. I do miss a few things: wearing my wedding rings, sleeping on my back, hugging Brian face to face comfortably. 


What I'm looking forward to: Giving birth. Meeting our baby. Introducing our baby to family and friends. Starting our new life together as a family. 


Milestones: Being 40 Weeks, 4 Days


Symptoms: Oi,  you might want to make a dash for the ladies room now, this could go on for a while. 

• Stuffy nose - I caught a cold two days after we transferred our embies and I haven't really been able to breathe through my nose well since then. Using a saline spray and or netti pot, are only temporary fixes. 
• Carpal Tunnel - swelling and water retention causes CT during pregnancy, and mine is getting worse. First thing in the morning my hands get crazy swollen, and are so painful that I can't even give the dog his good morning scratch and rub down. It hurts that much. 
• Restlessness - I tend to get really restless towards the end of each night. Between 9 - 11pm. I end up having to take a shower just to calm down and take the edge off. I feel a little guilty saying that I've been taking two showers a day for the last two weeks, but it's all I can do to keep comfortable. 
• Braxton Hicks - for the last week I've had very consistent BH. Which I know is a good thing. It's my uterus practicing for the big day. 
• Fatigue, crankiness, overall discomfort.  

All in all I'm doing well, my blood pressure which was an issue early in my second trimester is very much under control now. I was 112/63 at my last appointment. Woo hoo! So I'm very happy to be pretty healthy otherwise. I'll continue to keep you all informed!

Hello And Goodbye Due Date...

I woke up this morning not expecting much. Which turned out to be incredibly appropriate. Evidently only 5% of babies are born on their actual due date, and over 50% are born about a week later. But I wasn't anticipating today to be THE day anyway...


Brian and I spent the day together, running errands and dodging phone calls from impatient family members. They want to know if I feel anything. But regardless of what I do or don't feel, I have no frame of reference for indications of impending contractions.  I only find myself astonished by how much leverage people give due dates. 


We had an appointment on Thursday. My Midwife was called out to a delivery, so they squeezed us in with one of the OB's I've never met before. She attempted an internal exam, and was able to get some information but it was so uncomfortable I asked her to stop. She was not super gentle. On a side note one difference I've noticed between male and female doctors. Males seem to be more gentle physically, but less connected on a personal level. Where as the lady docs seem to just "get to work" down there, with less concern for physical comfort. Anyhoo, at that point she said I was 1-2 cm Dilated, and about 60% effaced. Cervix was still high, but very soft. Which means nothing... 


She basically told us it could be 10 days or it could be 2.


It's just hurry up and wait...

Reminiscing

I've been thinking about the days when I spent hours pondering and analyzing potential pregnancy symptoms. 

My how things come full circle. 

Because I've spent the last 48 hours pondering and analyzing potential labor signs... And I just remembered that before I found out I was pregnant, I'd had ZERO symptoms. I was fairly certain our IVF cycle hadn't worked. And the entire week before that I had gone back and forth in my head, "it TOTALLY worked!" - "We're NEVER going to be parents." and so on...

Once again I find myself hanging in the balance of "Could this be it?!"... Is today the day?

Only in the past two or three days have I started to feel any anxiety about the due date. It's gets crazy when you can say with certainty that sometime within the next 15 days, you will have a baby. And I think I'm starting to get a little freaked out. Though I can't exactly pinpoint why. Part of me feels unprepared for labor, even though just a week ago I felt disturbingly confident. My emotions are all over the place. I'm cranky, whiny, bitchy, paranoid, anxiety-ridden, and then fine. I did not see any of that coming...

Physically this pregnancy is getting a lot harder. It's not just hard to bend down, but it actually hurts now - it feels very crampy. My hands and feet are very swollen and I've developed pretty substantial Carpal Tunnel. I can barely make a fist. I feel a lot of pressure in my nether regions, but not all day everyday. It's worse in the morning and at night. Or if I've been sitting or laying down for a long time. And sometimes when I turn my right foot out to the side, I get this awful dull pain that runs down my groin. P.S. the baby's head is on that side. Sleeping is still poo. My back hurts a lot. But I'm still loving every minute of this pregnancy, and despite all the physical discomfort; feeling a little sad that it's almost over. 

The baby seems to be doing well. Although last night I'd swear he/she had like four frappachino's or something. It felt like he/she was trying to swim to the bottom of the tank, if that makes any sense. Crazy constant movement. And even as it got really uncomfortable and disruptive (kept me awake!) I couldn't help but laugh as I watched my belly moving up and down and side to side. It was truly rambunctious. 

I have an appointment with my midwife tomorrow at 4:15pm. At my last appointment she told me she'll want to do an internal just to have a look at things.  And for the first time I feel okay with that. I felt so much indifference before because I know that whatever dilation/effacement measurement she gives me, it won't necessarily indicate when labor might start, so why bother? I wasn't planning to anything to evict my little one anyway. At least not within the first ten days after my due date anyway. But within the last couple of days I've begun to challenge my original non-plan plans. My acupuncturist assured me that doing a session with her wouldn't necessarily be like hitting an eject button, it would only work if my body was ready to allow it to work. I made an appointment for this Friday, but I'm probably going to cancel it...

I'm 39 Weeks, 4 days and currently feeling like I just don't know what to do with myself. 

Maybe it's just the pressure of "any day now"...

All Along The Watchtower

Ever feel like you're being watched?

I DO.

It took me several weeks of getting used to people asking how I was feeling as opposed to how I was doing, but now - it's got an entirely different context to it. And it's not just "How are you feeling? " it's "Hooowwww are you Feeeeeeeling??????"

And I'm super annoyed by it.

(fyi, if you know me in real life and have access to this blog, you're not included in this post - It's my crazy family that's making me want to kill someone)

Please understand, I'm grateful to have so many people in my life who care about me, and this baby. And it's arrival. But the last thing I ever want is for people to make a fuss over me, and if they have to, I don't want to know about it. 


So my family has been all up in my grill over the last week wanting to know "Hooowwww I'm Feeeeeeeling??????", and it really just wants to make me turn off my phone and lock my doors. And for some reason, the impending birth of this child is brining up all sorts of dysfunctional family dynamics just like weddings do. And it's kind of astonishing how many demands are being made of us. "So and so wants to know THE MOMENT you go into labor so she can blah, blah, blah" 


How about this, I don't really give a shit what you want. Our plan is to labor as long as we can at home and after we decide to go to the hospital, and once we get admitted and settled, we'll make a couple of calls to let people know where we're at. Then whoever wants to come to the hospital can do so that their leisure.


Okay, sorry, just had to get that off my chest. 


But to update all of you whom I love, and don't have any problem telling every detail to: I'm feeling okay. I am getting Braxton Hicks pretty consistently, especially when I walk a lot. I was never carrying super high, so I don't think I've dropped. But I can feel a slight heaviness in my pelvis. Mostly when I get up from sitting or laying down. Which from what I understand means the baby is dropping into the birth canal. Other than that things are moving right along. I'm being as productive as I can throughout the day, but definitely not pushing myself. Oh, and I might be a little more cranky than usual. :) Our hospital bags, and the baby's diaper bag is completely packed. And I feel ready. 


So unbelievably ready. 

Checking In!

Hello! I'm here, and still pregnant!

Monday was my first official day of maternity leave and I could not feel more relieved... Honestly, I wish that my leave had started the week of Thanksgiving instead. Initially I planned to work up until my due date, then changed it to a week before, and once sleep started becoming ridonkulous I bumped it back another week.  For those of you still early on in your pregnancy, and especially if this is your first one, I would highly recommend planning to be out a minimum of two weeks before your due date. Just because you really don't know what your body is going to do. And it's been nice to have some down time to get all of the little things wrapped up.

So the sleeping thing has gotten a little easier to manage, but only because I stopped fighting it. About the middle of last week I stopped worrying about needing to be functional at a certain time and I just got up instead of laying in bed torturing myself over how much more sleep I should be getting. I'm staying up a lot later, instead of going to bed at the usual time and my sleep has been SO much less fitful. And if I wake up and can't go back to sleep for more than 30 minutes, I get up and do something useful. And even though the timing is a little stupid, the quality of sleep I'm getting is better so I'm not as exhausted all the time.

I can't believe it's Thursday already. I've been so busy this week, that I've hardly had time to sit down and catch up on blogs.  Wow, NINE days until our due date - BANANA'S! 

More later!