Infertile Haze

It's odd, I usually don't loose my shit until after I ovulate. But looking at my last post it's very clear that I was a tad unstable. I'm not ashamed, nor do I regret what I wrote. My words and feelings were genuine. As was my delirium.

But its nothing new. I think a large portion of our circumstance has made me irrational. I've been thinking night and day about our options for conceiving, but the lines between our choices have only become more blurry, and more complex. Leaving me more uncertain.

You should also know that I had another long conversation with Brian and he confirmed what I mentioned earlier. That I am in fact crazy. And that I worry too much. He assured me that he thinks about it almost as much as I do, and that he really is fine with either option. We agreed that we both would rather have a biological child but aren't sure yet by what means we'll get there. And we're still both very okay with DI... I say we flip a coin.

So there you have it. We're no further today than we we're yesterday or three months ago for that matter. I'm just able to recognize my lunacy. Again.