TWENTY-TEN

I turn thirty this week. If you had asked me 10 years ago if I thought I would have kids at this point in my life I actually would have said "Nofuckinway". Oh um, I spoke like a truck driver in those days. OKAY, so I haven't changed that much... I digress. I met Brian when I was 21, back then I didn't know if I wanted to be a parent at all. It was Brian who changed my mind. Not by badgering or bribery, but because he is a much nicer person than I am. And I'd like to replicate that if possible. The world could use a few more nice people, but we're still working on that.

When ever a birthday or holiday passes I remember last year when I spent time day dreaming about packaging up the happy news that we were pregnant with any given holiday. Ex: "If I got pregnant nooowwwww, I'd be twelve weeks at the beginning of May, annnnnnd my Grandpa's birthday is May 7th, SOOOO I could tell the whole family that he's going to be a great grandfather!!!!" Yet another example of how TTC creeps into EVERY aspect of your life.

So about my birthday. I've kind of been pretending it's not happening, and I'm not sure why. It's not that I feel old, it's just that I don't understand how I could possibly be in my 30's. It's all too bizarre. I have made a few plans to celebrate though, Brian is taking me to a fancy dinner then to see Wicked up in the city. I haven't really decided if I want to do anything with friends, since I might kill myself after the show. But I guess I'll play it by ear. Happy Birthday to me.