Disturbing The Peace

Oh gawd, she's back. The whiny, and seemingly indecisive side of me that Infertility has capitalized on. And I'd love nothing more than to punch her square in the jaw.

I'm okay. But I think it's fair to say that last week was rough. I know that the three crappy diagnoses I've gotten in the last two weeks are not the end of the world. The hardest part for me was really that we've gone so long thinking that MFI was the only hurdle we had to jump. So hearing now that there are three significantly crappy issues on my side that could hold us back was pretty much the infertile equivalent of walking in on your parents. You turn away, alarmed, disillusioned, and in overall shock.

One more thing that sucks is that treatments could end up costing close to another 5k - worst case scenario. Which is pretty much infertility's way of pissing on the ashes that once was my retirement plan.

Now I need to clear a few things up. I'm sticking with Dr.3. I like Dr.3 (I'd say love, but we're still basically courting since I've only seen him in person once - and well, he hasn't gotten me pregnant yet - Hmm if you didn't know I was talking about IVF that statement could be misleading). AnyWAY, I believe in Dr.3. But I think it's my responsibility as a patient to question different and inconclusively proven treatments. While I'm not 100% sold on the immunological theories, my gut is telling me to go with it. Or maybe it's my uterus, since it's got a better view as to why SIX iui's failed...

Man, after taking two thirds of this year off, and away from treatments I've forgotten how truly overwhelming and consuming it is. It's like this whole other component in my marriage - it's like a second fucking job, even. Gah, I'm sort of tired of it already.

Cheese and Crackers, folks - NINE posts in one month. Are you guys sick of me yet, or what?

What Has Two Thumbs

And tested positive for two A1298C mutations, indicating MTHFR?

Alright, we all know how that one ends...

So, craaaaaap. I guess with my OPCOS diagnosis and now this I can officially say we are a train wreck Male and Female factor IF. I know this isn't the worst possible senario, but having gone two and a half years and six dIUI's believing that we only had the male factor issue, well, it sort of makes me want to crack some skulls.

MTHFR is not something that my old RE would have ever tested for. Because it falls under immunological disorders. And my old clinic didn't believe in immunological factors... Some RE's do, some don't. And it's not being partial to CSI: Las Vegas over Miami, it's like different religions.

I thought science was a little more... black and white.

How does one not believe in a gene mutation?

I don't understand.

And more than that, I don't quite understand what this means for me.

And my likelihood of a successful pregnancy.

I'm scared.

I probably sound like a complete moron, and believe me, I know enough to know that I can't even begin to comprehend the complexities behind this issue. I just wish that I didn't feel so caught in the middle...

An MTHFR success story might be nice to hear right about now.

I've started reading up on it, but I don't really know what to consider a legitimate source. Any recommendations?