Wednesday, December 3, 2008
If you're pregnant, drop everything you're doing and throw it in my face please
I know it's because I'm hypersensitive to it right now but GOOD GOD other peoples pregnancy news is EVERYWHERE. In the last week I have purposefully avoided the regular sites that I go to because I needed a break from hearing about anything to do with reproduction. Then at lunch today I decided to give people.com a once over and the top story is Pete Wentz calling his newborn son "A Happy Accident". That's fantastic. I quickly closed the browser and figured I'd go to one website where I could find someone struggling like me, someone who like 19 days ago posted about getting her period, someone I didn't think would now be posting about morning sickness. The Infertility Diaries at Redbook.com. Evidently the period she posted about was implantation bleeding. I know that I should be happy for her, but today- I am not. I know my last post was pretty pathetic and sad. But I hope that this one exudes anger. I'm so angry and frustrated and exhausted from feeling my feelings and thinking about getting pregnant and more over, not being pregnant. I really want to scream. I just feel so jaded. I feel done. Like it may never happen for us and I'm okay with that it if means I can get my life back. My train of thought back. My emotions under control, or at the very least reasonably contained. FUCK.
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2 comments:
I totally get your feelings. I guess I am trying really hard not to be there yet. We've only been trying since June though - so maybe that is why it is still easier for me. I sometimes want to hear about people who have had a hard time getting pregnant - who are actually now pregnant, because that gives me hope. If they were able to do it - then I will too. That kind of thought gets me through...
But you are allowed to be upset...this stuff sucks.
Hi Hayley,
Thanks for your support. I totally get what you're feeling too. If you are looking for more inspiration you should check out the blog Maybe If You Just Relax, by Jenn Knepper. She is a perfect example of someone who has gone through the struggles and come out the other side. She's about 7 months along, and I really am happy for her. And her blog is wicked funny.
Definitely don't loose hope. I have a few friends who tried for well over a year and finally conceived with no intervention.
I've had a rough couple of days but I'm sure I'll feel hopefull again soon. I'm just in a funk. I'm actually hopeful most of the time, but I typically use this blog to vent, so unfortunately the cynical stuff is most of what I post.
I really do appreciate your comments. And I hope it happens for you very soon.
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