The last few days have been kind of a whirlwind. I go from busy and going about my routines to suddenly remembering my extraordinarily good fortune and my breath catches in my chest and a little snarffle-type-whimper/laugh escapes my lips as I picture those positive pee sticks still sitting on my nightstand. I pretty much carried them around the house all day Saturday, and if I didn't think it would have been obnoxiously inappropriate I probably would have made a necklace out of one. And then all at once I feel like it's happening to someone else.
I also go back and forth between feeling SO ready to move on with the rest of my life (See: potentially recklessly over optimistic), and feeling like I'm still in limbo. Like I can't make certain plans for the next few months, only instead of wondering if I'll be cycling, wondering if I'll still be pregnant. And then maybe I will be cycling with our frozen embie (pleasedon'tletthathappen, pleasedontletthathappen). I'm going to be a bridesmaid in my brother's wedding this September and we're going to have to pick out and order the dresses ASAP. What if next week I order a dress for me at six months along and then two months from now I dont' need it? Yikes. That also means I'm going to have to spill the beans to my future SIL (whom I adore, btw) and at the very least the other bridesmaid. Hmmm.
So I FINALLY got a hold of my nurse, I told her I was about to go into a meeting and didn't want to miss her call. I went in this morning at 9am, and got through to her at 4pm! That was really frustrating. So the news is not bad, but it's not fantastic. Dr. 3 wants to see AT LEAST a 60% increase for Beta #2. My increase was at 62%... Putting my number at 233. My nurse said neither she, nor Dr. 3 are remotely concerned. She warned me about Dr. Google and also said that it's possible one of the two embryo's in arresting. Or she said sometimes the second Beta is just wonky - She's seen much stranger beta's result in babies, and then reminded me that IVF is rarely cut and dry. Physically I'm feeling fine, still really no symptoms to speak of which freaks me out just a little bit especially knowing my second beta number now.... I have some minor cramping, and towards the end I of the day I feel bloated. But that's about it. They want me to do another Beta a week from today, as previously planned. (This is where my nurse stressed that if they were concerned they would have me come back Thursday). At that point they'll want to see a number no less than 954. And that's going by the 60% range again.
So. I wait. I'm trying to keep the faith in the unseen, and not freak out too much. Do me a favor and send a prayer or two my way when you get a sec. Thanks in advance.
33 comments:
Keep faith in the unseen for sure - it's in God's hands right now.
Hoping and praying for another 35+ weeks of smooth sailing through this pregnancy for you!
Sending prayers your way! The numbers are still looking good, so I'm very optimistic for you! :) Wishing you the best!
Girl your second beta number is GREAT!! I know it's still hard to know whether or not you should celebrate, but from where I am sittin' I'd be wearing those pee sticks around my neck...there's a lot to celebrate!!
Take it one day at a time - you get to ease into this new role.
Hang in there and thinking about you~
I just prayed for you and your little one. Much love to you both.
makingmemom.blogspot.com
All I had was a little bit of cramping as well (no tiredness, no sore boobs, nothing!) until I got past 6 weeks. Good luck!!
Hi Melissa,
I've been following you since your first IUI back in July 2009, when I cyckled at exactly the same time with first IVF attempt. I just started to cry reading this post. I'm so happy for you. You kept me afloat with your 100 things of distraction back in 7/09. This is so awesome. I couldn't be happier for you & your guy. I'll be checking back and praying for you 3 or 4 :)
CBR
Melissa, that is an awesome number! Sending a million prayers your way...you got this! So happy for you:)
Confirming multiple prayers and good thoughts sent your way!
Fingers crossed for all to continue to go well, take it one day at a time.
Definitely sending lots of prayers up for you!
Beta numbers CAN be wonky-- I learned that the hard way! It sounds like you have a wonderful nurse-- warning you not to consult Dr. Google and being very reassuring. Good for her. I know this next week is going to seem impossibly long. I'll be praying for you and your sweet baby(ies)!
hang in there, fingers and toes crossed for you!!!
Hooray for a 62% increase! Take it one day at a time, I have a good feeling for you!
If it is any consolation, my betas with this IVF cycle only increased by between 65 and 70% between betas 1 and 2 and 2 and 3, and I am currently a very healthy 12w4d along. After a previous miscarriage with low betas, I was certain the numbers meant doom, but every ultrasound has been perfect this time, so it just goes to show that beta numbers can totally fool you. I will be crossing all fingers and toes for you! Just keep breathing and take things a day at a time.
Gave you a shout-out on my new post...hope you don't mind!
I never had much in the way of symptoms, other than sore boobs, which I developed around transfer. No symptoms does not mean anything. So long as your betas are climbing you have every reason to keep making plans for your pregnancy and baby. Hang in there, lookin gofrward to hearing about that beautiful next beta next week.
I hate this for you - I really wish you could just bask in it - you so deserve it - and I feel terrible that you are now in beta hell. The only thing you can do is try to get through it with your sanity intact, whatever that is for you.
My hard core symptoms did not start until about 6-7 weeks pregnant - prior to that it was off and on, a twinge here and there, some nausea here and there - but it was probably mostly nerves and stress for me.
I am pulling for you SO HARD - and I fully expect to see some baby pics from you in mid-December.
XXOO
So hard not to go crazy at this stage and then all the other stages up until 12 weeks, and then viability... and on it goes. I have so much faith that all will be well.. and don't worry about the symptoms too much, I didn't get any until the 6th week.
Try and take it easy darling. Before you know it next will be here and then before you know it you'll be having your first scan. xx
As you know, there are no definite rules when it comes to BETA numbers. Having a number double doesn't always mean that everything is going to turn out great. And having a number NOT double doesn't always mean impending doom. (I know Kerri already posted, but don't forget Melissa P was in the same boat as well and look where they both are now)
Since the doc isn't concerned by the % increase, you should try not to be concerned either. (I know, easier said than done).
Keep POAS and make sure the line is getting darker if it makes you feel better.
And while you are at it, I think you SHOULD string those puppies on a necklace and wear them around. You have worked hard to get to this point and if you want to wear those 2 lines all over town, I say go for it. Just ignore the people when they look at you funny because urine was involved instead of gemstones.
I love you and I am here for you if you need to have a freak out moment!
Remind yourself, the same way two lines are two lines, regardless of the color, same thing with betas. You reached the cutoff, so how much above the cutoff really doesn't mean much. Above is above is above. Keep reminding yourself that.
Melissa you're definitely in the thoughts of so many of us in the blogosphere. You deserve this pregnancy so much! Congratulations!!!
First of all CONGRATS!!!! I can't believe I've missed such important posts! I've been away from my computer the last several days which is where I check blogs. I knew you would get pregnant with such fantastic embies. I'm sorry your increase wasn't "ideal " and trust me I would have very similar emotions as you do however I feel very strongly you have at least one really strong one in there. And it's perfectly normal not to feel any symptoms this early in the game. I never felt anything different until almost 6 weeks when the nausea started! Hang in there. You have every reason to be excited and hopeful.it's YOUR turn now. I'm beyond thrilled for you!!! Love you much!!
So, so so excited for you! I remember when I was pregnant, I would stop in the middle of my day completely incredulous that it was happening to me after all those years, even towards the end. As far as symptoms, well, don't look too carefully.
Bloating at the end of the day was my biggest before nausea kicked in later, but you're too early to be fine-tooth combing it all, and even later, there are so many who never have any symptoms (my Mom when she was pregnant with me or my friend who didn't know she was pregnant until she was 4 months along and just thought her birth control shot was keeping her periods away). Just bask in the secret (and not-so-secret) knowledge that your pee sticks are at home waiting patiently for you!!
Keeping up BIG doubling thoughts for you!!
My second beta number was not as great as I wanted it to be, but here I am at 9 weeks with two babies on board. It's only an indicator, not the end-all be-all. Enjoy the no symptoms, I bet you will have some before you know it! Mine kicked in around week 6-7.
Sending you very good thoughts for a rising beta for the next one!!! I hear you on the thought every once in awhile - oh my goodness, I'm finally pregnant! And my pee stick is still on my nightstand...
Everything's crossed for great beta numbers!
Sending you prayers! Keep faith! My first beta (16dpiui) was 64, and my second beta was only 179 at 18dpiui.
Hope your numbers keep going up :-)
Good to hear those numbers are increasing! Love the giddy details of when you catch yourself embracing the moment. Focus on the positive and let it all add up. Extra prayers, check & done and will continue to recheck!
Love you, ladie!
A prayer or two, done and done. Much good vibes yours way. :)
I know it's probably impossible not to worry a little, but your Dr. & nurse aren't worried so hopefully that gives you some comfort. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for another good beta. Enjoy being pregnant!!
Good beta, bad beta, wonky beta... you'd be worried for especially these early weeks no matter what! Waiting for something like this is never easy. Prayers for you and your little ones and peace for your soul as well! Good luck!
I am sorry it was not a big, big beta doubling, but am glad to hear your doc is not even remotely concerned...I know it's so hard not to worry. I only ever got to this stage of waiting for beta doubling and remember how nerve wracking that was.
Sending you peace & calm vibes....
And sending up lots o' prayers...
And hoping your angels stick around a bit longer!
XOXOXO
Always, always hoping for you.
I've not been on the internets much and missed your initial beta. I am so happy you have a BFP. Please stay positive through this!
Very late to your party, but swinging from the light fixtures for you just the same. (-; Wow, Melissa, this is your time, my dear!! Congrats! Congrats! Congrats!
I'm sorry that you are having some beta stress, but I have a really strong hope that things are going to be great for you come next beta day. Stupid fertiles just pee on a (yes, one) stick and announce to the world. Grrrr. Hang in there, friend, and enjoy every single minute! xoxo
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