I Haven't Read The Baby Books

I don’t want this to come off the wrong way, but I’m saying it here to remind myself yet again. That I. Am Pregnant. It happens several times a day, whether it’s when I’m bending down to get something and my body reminds me that I’m not able to fold in half like I used to. Or I pass by a mirror or window and catch a glimpse of my exaggerated silhouette. But I keep forgetting that I’m pregnant. I giggle each time I remember and I’m constantly grateful, but it’s a little bizarre that at this point,  I still kind of forget that this is real. That I’m not making it up. That the soft kicks and rolls I feel are from the child growing inside of me. It’s kind of insane. 

In my dreams when I thought about this point in our lives coming, I imagined I would have read every book, been halfway through my Prenatal Yoga class, and had the nursery painted and ready for furnishing. 

In reality I haven’t finished or really even more than glanced at the books about pregnancy (that I bought so naively four years ago.)

None of the yoga classes I’ve looked into seem to fit my schedule, and I haven’t done much to make them for that matter.

And the nursery still looks like the cleanest room on an episode of “Hoa.rders”.  And is still peach. 

So for as much as I have been inadvertently dragging my feet, I’ve suddenly been given a swift kick into the “this is real, your days as just a couple are numbered and you haven’t done a damn thing to prepare for it you lazy whore”, reality. Sunday night Brian and I were getting ready to wind down for the evening, when I remembered the dvd I had ordered about Child Birth was still sitting in our living room. I checked with Brian to make sure he was game and popped the video in before snuggling up with my husband Snoogle. The moment it was over, I felt a fog of panic come over me. Not for the impending, contracting and dilating. But because it suddenly feels like we have SO MUCH to do. But the panic was short lived and I’ve found myself hardly being able to wait to get started. 

I signed us up for Birth classes, which deserves a post of its very own. And boy will that be a big one. Next week I’m going to look for a new OB, and/or Midwife. (Cue foreshadowy music) I already have my next appointment set up with my OB and the specialist for our 20 week u/s, so I’m just going to get through that and make appointments with the new options afterwards. Next on the list, tackle the bottomless pile of crap in what will be the nursery. (Cue Sanford and Son music)

And with almost ironic timing, ever since my epiphany that we're actually going to be parents this year (HOPEFULLY), the baby has started moving like CRAZY. Instead of just feeling the occasional flutter or tap here and there, I could feel it moving almost the entire day yesterday, and most of today so far. It is extraordinarily distracting and so, so fucking cool.