I’ve always been one to err on the side of caution. I’m a just-in-case, kinda gal. So it seems only natural that during a pregnancy I struggled four years, endured countless needles, exams and spent tens of thousands of dollars (that we don’t have) to achieve, that I would fall into the “you-can-never-be-too-careful” category once finally in the family way. However, I think my OB thinks I’m ridiculous. And it’s not settling well with me at all.
I had an appointment yesterday, which in retrospect seemed like, Well - A big fat waste of my time. My OB was 45 minutes late getting in to see us, and when he did finally sit down with me he made me feel like a complete moron. He wasn’t mean about my questions, just over explained (complete with family anecdotes, I should mention) about why it’s fine for me at 17w2d to sleep on my back. And have three day old homemade leftover enchiladas. I half expected him to show me a flashcard with a picture of a wheel of imported Brie with a circle and a line through it. I guess I should be happy that he took his time answering all my questions, but that’s probably why he was forty-fucking-five minutes late to a 10am appointment when they open at 9am. I would expect the afternoon appointments to run a bit behind, but don’t overbook your patients then waste my and the next patients time because you’re busy rambling on to me about how your daughter won’t even consider leftovers while your wife eats three day old salads regardless of the wilted lettuce. This is only my second appointment seeing my OB, every other time I’ve seen the head Nurse Practitioner, whom I love – but obviously won’t be delivering me.
Important note: He runs a solo practice, and assured me that he won’t be going anywhere for Christmas this year. Which really appealed to me. He seems great on paper - agrees with my request for minimal intervention during labor, has a low forceps and c-section rate, and seems to have an educated staff, all of whom work well together.
So maybe I’ve been in ‘the system” too long. Maybe I’ve just gotten too used to the formality seen in the Fertility Clinic industry. And all that comes with being closely monitored. I suppose that was because I was more of a client than a patient, since we were paying everything out of pocket, not just going where an insurance administrator told us was the closest proximity to our home address. But I want that environment back! I want a doctor who is meticulously on time, and asks relevant questions, whilst dispensing useful information. I’m not asking to be coddled, hell the first word I would use to describe Dr. 3 (after awesome, that is) would be: Cyborg. Fantastic. Efficient. Warm and fuzzy, he was NOT. My OB seems more like a cross between a Surfer and an amateur standup comedian. Also, he has white hair and glasses with bifocals that he looks down over when speaking to me, and it makes me think of Benjamin Franklin. But I got there, they took my vitals, the doctor made sure both me and the baby were still alive, then left.
Am I asking too much?
After speaking to a mom, apparently aside from the personality flaws, the monthly appointments are pretty routine. Not a whole lot of action. Which honestly, is what I should want. Not a lot of fuss, or probing. Just the basics, like everyone else.
I guess I’m just getting used to what being on “the otherside” is really like. And it’s still nothing like I thought.
7 comments:
This is so funny, and so true! I get annoyed at the super chatty doc, as I think I have the same guy. He's all about getting to know his patients, when at the clinic we were all about getting in and out quickly! I miss the efficiency of the RE clinic. And my doc is the same way - shows up an hour late to an appointment that really only lasts about 10-15 minutes. Bizarre! I guess we can both be thankful that we have super-boring OB visits - I think that's how it's supposed to be!
It IS weird, when you're used to all of the monitoring, to suddenly be treated like a "normal" pregnant person. But it really is a good thing. And yes- those monthly appointments are uneventful. Measure the belly, listen to the heartbeat, and see ya later. Just wait 'til you get to your weekly appointments and the cervix checks. Then you'll be longing for uneventful again. Ouch.
i agree...the switch from RE to OB is a little odd and treatment is quite different, though I'm high risk, so it could be even weirder if i was treated as totally normal.
and i have the same concern about back sleeping. read it somewhere (reliable...like baby.center). i think your concerns were totally respectable for what it's worth!
I can so relate to this! I remember how "low tech" everything at the OB's office seemed after being able to, you know, see a picture of the 8 cell embryo that is your baby. I just could not let go of (what is now obvious to me) paranoid questions and let myself call the nurse as many times as I needed. I knew she'd pass on the tougher questions to the dr. It is so hard to grow into the mindset of being normal after everything you've been through.
If it helps, I went through the same thing with my OB and wanted the constant hand holding and the attentiveness of the nurse staff from my RE's office to follow. It didn't. And when my OB is late to an appointment, I try to remind myself that she may have been dealing with someone with lots of questions, or a problem or even over at the hospital!
And for what it's worth, my OB was pretty clear about the back sleeping. As your uterus gets heavier it may cause you to stop breathing if you're on your back. Don't Panic. You wake up instantly and it doesn't harm the baby. And if you're really worried, you can just prop yourself on pillows so you're not flat.
In some ways, you've found a gem of a doctor if you can come out of the appointment not feeling like you've been rushed! It is annoying when they're late, but sometimes they do have early morning surgeries or deliveries.
As for the back-sleeping thing, my advice is to enjoy sleeping on your back as long as you can! You will feel it when it's no longer okay--and feel uncomfortable on your back. I was overly cautious about this but wished I had just enjoyed it at the beginning, because I was sick of side-sleeping by the end!
We got SO used to VIP treatment at our RE clinic. never had to wait for appointments, everyone held our hand thru everything. Someone had to remind me that we were paying top dollar for that kind of treatment, whereas our poor OB gets some paltry insurance reimbursement. My husband is so upset when we have to wait for our OB appointments! part of me wonders if we should just pay them a little more for some VIP treatment :)
Post a Comment