Alright, I’m starting to feel a little bratty about my last post. Especially because not more than two posts ago I was bitching and begging for boring...
I want to thank those of who validated my difficulty in transitioning, it’s really nice to hear that I’m not alone there and please know really and truly am grateful to have had an extraordinarily boring appointment. I look forward to many more of them. Really. I think the reasons for my reaction yesterday are twofold. One – I really was used to the super intense, and very goal oriented appointments that were part of seeing an RE. Two – I like the fundamentals of how this Doctor runs his practice, but I just don’t mesh with his personality. Or maybe I’m being too uptight. Expecting too much. Maybe being with someone who is so low-key is the best thing for me. Knock me out of my tightly closed shell. Or maybe I’ll start shopping for a new OB. Stay Tuned.
So yeah, this last appointment was fairly uneventful. At the end of the appointment the nurse gave me a flyer with the name of a specialist that they wanted me to see for my 20 week scan. Twenty-flippin’-weeks. I am almost halfway through this pregnancy and still in denial. Sometimes when I say it to myself, it feels as new and as foreign as the day I saw a positive test. It’s just bananas. Anyhoo, lots of people have been asking about this scan and when we’ll find out what we’re having, and for a surprisingly large amount of people their heads are blown clean off when we tell them: December. We’ll find out in December, when I give birth.
I’ve never really given much thought to gender prediction when it came to pregnant women. If you think about it, it’s as arbitrary as trying to guess hair or eye color. There’s only a limited number of things it could be, so why speculate based on how someone is carrying, what they’re cravings are, or whether or not their asses got fat. My best friend has three boys and each of her pregnancies were entirely unique. I know, I’m no fun right? True story, my friends. I’m kind of a curmudgeon when it comes to stuff like that. I guess I can see the harmless fun it throwing out guesses, and I’ll admit I’ve participated in more than one baby pool. But hell, I play the in the office Superbowl pools, even though I despise football. I just have a soft spot for illegal sources of gambling.
I want to thank those of who validated my difficulty in transitioning, it’s really nice to hear that I’m not alone there and please know really and truly am grateful to have had an extraordinarily boring appointment. I look forward to many more of them. Really. I think the reasons for my reaction yesterday are twofold. One – I really was used to the super intense, and very goal oriented appointments that were part of seeing an RE. Two – I like the fundamentals of how this Doctor runs his practice, but I just don’t mesh with his personality. Or maybe I’m being too uptight. Expecting too much. Maybe being with someone who is so low-key is the best thing for me. Knock me out of my tightly closed shell. Or maybe I’ll start shopping for a new OB. Stay Tuned.
So yeah, this last appointment was fairly uneventful. At the end of the appointment the nurse gave me a flyer with the name of a specialist that they wanted me to see for my 20 week scan. Twenty-flippin’-weeks. I am almost halfway through this pregnancy and still in denial. Sometimes when I say it to myself, it feels as new and as foreign as the day I saw a positive test. It’s just bananas. Anyhoo, lots of people have been asking about this scan and when we’ll find out what we’re having, and for a surprisingly large amount of people their heads are blown clean off when we tell them: December. We’ll find out in December, when I give birth.
I’ve never really given much thought to gender prediction when it came to pregnant women. If you think about it, it’s as arbitrary as trying to guess hair or eye color. There’s only a limited number of things it could be, so why speculate based on how someone is carrying, what they’re cravings are, or whether or not their asses got fat. My best friend has three boys and each of her pregnancies were entirely unique. I know, I’m no fun right? True story, my friends. I’m kind of a curmudgeon when it comes to stuff like that. I guess I can see the harmless fun it throwing out guesses, and I’ll admit I’ve participated in more than one baby pool. But hell, I play the in the office Superbowl pools, even though I despise football. I just have a soft spot for illegal sources of gambling.
When people hear that we’re not going to find out what sex of the baby is, some think it’s great, but some act like we’ve deliberately chosen to disappoint them. Like it’s a plot against them or something. That usually segues into their next question of whether or not we have a preference. I usually respond with a smile and laugh about not really caring. Brian is diplomatic as always and says he sees the joy in both genders. But when prodded I usually end up cutting them off with a sentence like “ It took us four years to get pregnant, we just want A. BABY. So do I hope it’s a boy? Do I hope it’s a girl? No. I hope IT gets here safe and healthy and that Brian and I have a significant role in making sure it turns out to be a caring, sensitive, productive member of society. So go ahead and buy IT something yellow already and leave me the hell alone.”
Okay, I don’t really say any of that. But I think it while I smile and nod, and try not to head-butt them. The truth is I've never wanted to find out what we were having. Even back in the day when I thought sex made babies, and it would be easy for us; I always figured we'd find out when they were born. I'm more intrigued by the element of surprise than having the knowledge to plan bedding choices based on gender. That said if we ended up with twins, I probably would have caved and found out. Just seems like good common sense, no?
So I’m looking forward to the big 20 week scan, but only because I’ll always want to have a peak at the baby before it gets here, it's seriously ridonkulous when I repeat that to myself. Twenty week scan... Also, since I have three more weeks before said ultrasound, I put up a belly pic in the Photo Gallery Tab. (Cringe) It's not a great one, but I took like 30 and posted the least awful one. Please don't laugh.
16 comments:
I am totally with you on this! I will want to wait until the birth and have that miraculous "it's a ..." moment!
It's amazing to me how many people thing that someone else's pregnancy is all about them! I got hassled by my mom to find out as she really needed some time to knit a baby blanket, and it was going to take her awhile, and she needed to know which color of yarn to buy. Seriously? Who cares? Green, yellow, black, whatever floats your boat! I told her it's a girl, and all she cared about was that she really like knitting in pink. Ugh. So enjoy your surprise, and if you stop smiling and nodding to other people's responses are start saying what you really think, no blame from me!
Personally, I like the whole "waiting for the birth to find out the gender" thing. I have a couple of friends who've done it, and it's cool. Really, newborns need exactly the same things whether they are boys or girls.
That said, we will not be waiting, assuming we get that far with this pregnancy, because my husband is wholly unable to delay his gratification. (He'd want to find out the genders now, at 7 weeks, if we could.) There is no way he could keep it to himself--he'd at least tell his parents, who'd definitely buy gender-specific items--so there's no way for me to wait and be surprised.
Ah well. :-)
"Like"
I'm sorry you're getting so much crap about not finding out the gender. It's such a personal decision that I think it's funny anyone would be disappointed. And wow, I can't believe you're already almost half way through! How wonderful and amazing!
This-> "That said if we ended up with twins, I probably would have caved and found out. Just seems like good common sense, no?" Made me smile. Yup- that's what I thought! You just enjoy doing things exactly the way you want. That's your perogative, and everyone who things otherwise can stuff it! I'm still excited for your 20 week u/s, because I know how amazing it will be for you to see so much!
Get this: I actually forgot we were finding out the gender at my 20 week scan! I was so amazed by how big the baby was inside of me and it was just so fun to watch him rub his eyes and move all around. Gender was the least of my concerns! And quite honestly, I think after going through infertility, having a gender preference just isn't as common. The only thing we all want is a healthy baby.
People can't possibly get how much is out of our control as IFers. At least you CAN control if you want to know the baby's gender. Sheesh!
Personally, I'd want to know. But it's a personal decision.
Ahh the gender - my sister is freaking out about not knowing the gender. How could I do this to her? How can she plan a shower without knowing the gender? How will she know what to buy? Its actually quite funny, and sweet too. I can honestly say that after waiting for so long I could care less whether we have a boy or a girl, so long as we get to bring this baby home with us in December. Our 20 week scan is next friday, and I am slowly starting to believe that this might actually be real.
BTW- I'm all in favor of looking for other OB options is you aren't totally happy where you are. We really like our OB, but are interviewing a midwife next week.
Thanks so much for writing and sharing. Its been really hard for me to write these past few months, but I really really REALLY appreciate reading your posts!
I can't resist being a bit of a dissenting voice here. :)
(1) We're not finding out either, and I don't care if people need to know what color of things to knit. Yes, I've gotten that same line. Geez.
(2) I 100% want a healthy baby in in my arms in December, but that doesn't mean a little part of me isn't hoping it's a girl. YES, I will be beyond stoked and forever happy if it's a boy, but I don't necessarily think that IF struggles preclude one from having the right/option/happenstance of having dreams of raising one gender or the or other. Just sayin'... :)
there are not so many amazing surprises in this world.... and there were babies before there were ultrasound machines.... good for you!! i think it's awesome that you aren't going to find out early!
xoxo
I'm with you, Monkey Sis. I love the thought of a delivery room surprise with baby sex... I think it makes it that much more exciting.
Here's to what counts... healthy, happy babies. XOXO
First of all great belly pic!! You are looking fab, supremely happy for you and Brian. And I think it's a lovely idea to wait until the baby is born - boy or girl it doesn't matter... I think maybe only IFers really really get this. Just to have a healthy baby to hold in your arms is all that truly counts. And who says girls can't wear blue or boys can't wear pink?? Looking forward to your next update.
Oh and just my two cents - I like super relaxed OB... definitely my preference over someone who want to poke, prod and do too many tests. But I know we are dealing with different issues and you may feel you want someone to keep a closer eye on you. Can't wait for the next installment xx
Cute belly pic! Sorry I've been MIA lately.
I think gender surprises sound super fun! We had our gender surprise moment when we got our photos...but we still had to look at the paperwork to figure it out, ha ha!
I think a Sharks onesie would look good on a boy OR a girl.
PS: OMG THE BELLY PIC.
It can be difficult switching doctors when you were used to different care. Thinking back on other comments from the ladies transitioning between the RE and OBGYN, it seems to take some adjusting. That seems normal and okay to feel a little uneasy at first. You have been through a lot to get to where you are and you want to know that you and baby are going to be top priority.
And good for you and Brian to not let anyone make you feel badly about not finding out the sex of the baby. It is your choice. People can throw in a little green or orange in with their yellow.
Love the belly photo! You look great, lady!!!
Post a Comment