The whore-bag cyst is not only still entirely present, but has grown another 1.5 mm. Putting her at a vast 24.5mm total. And my lining is growing like it would in a normal cycle. Fuck.
I am so incredibly disappointed.
Dr.3 wants to wait it out, so I’ll be staying on the ten units of Lupron. Which by the way, makes no fucking sense to me at all. Why would we do anything to prohibit or suppress this thing from maturing/rupturing??? And if the Lupron isn't suprressing me enough, than staying on it is really just slowing the down the inevitable right??? I wish I could say I thought to ask him all this, but I was concentrating on not bursting into tears and looking like a complete douche.
Yeah, he’s the RE and I’m not, and I do trust him entirely – but dammat I really wanted to be given a plan of attack if it got to this point. It’s been five days since my last u/s and I’ve had follicles get at least as big as 27mm, so at the rate I’m going it could be another ten days before this thing ruptures. And on top of that he wants me to have another period before we move forward. He checked my lining during the u/s and it’s thickening up like it normally would because of the high levels of estrogen and progesterone. He did explain that we’re not looking at another 30 day wait for my period, it’s more likely to be 6-10 days before I bleed again (if that thing collapses soon). But that is very little consolation considering that today should have been my first monitoring appointment, and my retrieval could have been this weekend.
I can’t even explain the level of disappointment I’m feeling right now.
This fucking blows.
26 comments:
I'm so so sorry. The physical part of IVF is bad enough but the emotional ups and downs can just about pull you under. So let us buoy you up--it won't be there forever and you WILL make it to the actual IVF--promise! Hugs and stupid whore-bag cyst go away!
IVF is difficult enough.....why this!! I'm cursing that whore bag cyst right now!
I'm so sorry, Melissa. Fuck that stupid whore-bag cyst! I hate this for you. :(
Boo! WTF. I'm sorry this sucks so bad!! *huge hugs*
Damn it, Melissa, I'm SO sorry! =(
The one complaint I have about Dr. 3 is that he SUCKS at explaining WHY he chooses certain procedures/plans of action. If you have it in you, you could try emailing him, asking why/how staying on lupron will help your cyst to resolve itself. You deserve an explanation (and I'm sure it would help to calm your thoughts!).
My heart is so sad for you. I know how frustrated and defeated you must be feeling.
On a SLIGHTLY comical note, do you want me to bring over my PainEase spray? We can numb up your abdomen, and take a needle to that whore-bag cyst!
Stupid F'ing witch! Go away! This sucks Melissa!
I hate that she hasn't gone away. You're right...this totally sucks.
For what it's worth, I had a 7cm cyst from Lupron-flare-up. They kept me on Lupron for well over a month, then BCP. I finally had it aspirated.
I wish I'd just had it aspirated in November. The reasons they gave me for not wanting to were, "it goes away on its own", "it might just come back", and "it's really not urgent".
Well, by January it was urgent to me. It turns out my insurance covered it, too. I had to push for it, but I'm glad I did.
Sometimes you need to be your own advocate, which can be very difficult.
ugh, I am so very sorry to hear this. I am hoping that you can back on track very soon.
hang in there.
Oh crap - this sucks. I'm so very sorry!
this sucks! i'm so bummed for you. FX that whore pops soon and this cycle can resume.
Ugh. So disappointing. I'm sorry, Melissa.
This sux. Oh, and you wouldn't have been a douche for crying. This is very emotional. Of course you are disappointed. Totally normal.
I am so sorry Melissa:( I know how frustrating this is.
I wanted to tell you that when I had my cyst, the doctor delayed stims for a bit, and then decided to just go ahead with the cycle. He said that it was just "a little cyst" and acted like it was no big deal. I don't know if you remember, but that cyst completely screwed up my eggs. Had he just given it a chance to go away by keeping me on Lupron and menstruating again, I think the cycle would have had a completely different outcome. But no, he stimmed through it, and the estrogen from the cyst degenerated all of my eggs. I only had 1 that survived that cycle.
It's so hard put it all in their hands. I think that sometimes they can't comprehend how important this is to us. They don't understand the we've sacrificed year(s) to save up for that one cycle. It sounds as if your doctor is doing the right thing by using patience.
Hindsight is 20/20 and now that I look back, I wish that I would have been a better advocate for myself and not let my doctor start me on stims before the cyst had resolved.
I really hope that all of this works out for you. I am praying so hard that this cycle brings you the happiness you deserve! I am here if you ever need me...just as you were when I was cycling!
Gosh that was long. I like to ramble. Sorryyyyyy.
Sucks big hairy ones. I was hoping to hear a post that the whore-bag cyst had packed her bags and hit the road. Dammit.
I am sure Dr. 3 has his reasons for the protocol he is using. Perhaps keeping you on the lupron prevents having to go back on BCPs and making the time to stimming take even longer?
Anyway, I am hoping that she will make a quick exit in the next few days. I know you are anxious to get started.
:( I'm sorry... I hope the stupid thing disappears soon and you can move forward.
Dammmmmmmit. Just dammit.
I'm so sorry. I know how much this royally sucks. :(
I'm sorry. I hope that cyst gets out of there soon. Hang in there.
I read the subject of this post and went, "Damn" in my head. Damn, damn, damn. I'm sorry for how frustrating it all is.
I like MTL's reassurance that you WILL get this IVF going. It will happen.
I'm sorry, my friend, for the roadblocks.
And I'm sorry I was such a sickie I couldn't see you this wknd. Raincheck for certain.
Virtual hug for now...real hug in person. XO
Melissa, I am so sorry to hear that rotten cyst is still around. It sounds very upsetting when it sounds like you had so much emotionally invested in the possibility of doing the transfer over the weekend. It can really suck when you set your sights on some part of the timeline that you think is manageable to get you through that difficult period, only to have that marker get pushed out of the picture.
As others have said, at least your doctor seems to be doing their best to see the cyst situation being resolved instead of pushing forward. If you were to keep going, it might put your chances of getting PG at a greater risk. Stay focused on getting the most optimal conditions for your best shot.
(HUGS)
Wow, definitely rough. I remember I had to be on Lupron for an extra week b/c my e2 was also too high during IVF#1. It was so disheartening and put the brakes on my hope for a while.
The cyst will go away soon, and you'll be off the bench, playing. Hang in there!
Aw shit. I'm very sorry this cyst has stuffed up this cycle for you. And that is uber-shitty that the doc wants to wait for another period before starting again. Perhaps an alcoholic beverage or six are in order? I do hope the cyst pisses off very soon!
I wanted to award you with a blog award before things went to shit so I hope you can overlook the bad timing. If you feel like participating the details are listed on my blog.
I'm so sorry sweetie. I hope the Lupron starts to take care of things. This is a ginormous bump in the road, but there is another side and I am extremely hopeful that everything will work out just fine once the cyst is gone. Lots of love!
Just caught up on your last few posts and wanted to give you some support. I know how much it sucks to finally get going again and then have things not go as you planned. Any bump in the road during a cycle can throw us gals into a tailspin. I had a cyst in my last cycle that they didn't catch before starting stims and it sucked up A LOT of my meds during the cycle. I was lucky they didn't cancel me which is often the outcome if they go ahead with an active cyst that starts to grow. (Against all odds the cyst-ridden cycle worked for me, despite producing less eggs). I guess the bright side is if they get rid of this damn thing before you start you won't risk wasting a butt load of $$ on meds/monitoring if your cycle were to be cancelled because of it. Hopefully your RE just wants to get this one right.
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