The title of this post completely sums up the way I'm feeling right now.
I'm 5dpo.
I have nothing to report.
Just wading my way through another two week wait.
I have no inclination as to how this cycle is going to turn out.
I'm at that point where I'm sort of feeling like it's never going to happen. I don't mean ever, but just not anytime soon. I'm terrified that we'll spend the rest of this year and the beginning of next year doing IUI's. And eventually have to stop and save up for IVF. And that, my friends, is going to take a long ass time.
Yesterday while leaving the store, I saw this man in the parking lot taking pictures with his blac.kberry of his two little girls jumping in puddles. The smile on his face was just as wide as his little girls'. I smiled at first too, but my heart quickly sank. Scene's like this me ache with longing. Will that EVER be Brian?
It's seems like it's less and less the Mom's that make me sigh, and more the Dad's. Fathers with their children on their shoulders, strapped to their chests, or even just holding their hands. When do I get to cherish the picture I took of our baby sleeping in Brian's arms?
I'm just getting so tired of waiting. Not impatient, but weary and haggard. Please god, please make it happen soon.
14 comments:
I am hoping like hell with you.
Amen, sister.
Ooooooh myyyyyy. The happy dads with their babies/toddlers get me every time, too.
But YOU, my friend, are still very much in the game! I know this waiting sucks like hell, and there's no guarantee that there will be a BFP at the end of it, but I still have endless hope for you. *hugs*
Me too, me too! 5dpo a well, so unsure how this how this cycle will turn out, wondering if it will ever happen...
Well, at least you know I'm waiting with you!
I know it's hard.. but I'm determined to go through this 2ww happy, I've been doing loads of positive visualization, people have told me it helps. Don't forget you had extra eggs this time round!
It is a catch 22 situation - you want to have hope but you don't want to get crushed if you get that all too familiar BFN. So I guess there's no easy way to sit out the 2ww.
But however you do it, I'm glad we're in it together :) Hugs
I hate that after all the waiting you did to get here, it's taking wait after wait after these dIUIs and you're coming up empty handed (or empty uterused). I so hope this is it for you...but I know, after a few "meh" cycles it's hard to get excited about a 2WW again I suppose. Thinking of you.
I'm right there with you. I had a total meltdown yesterday and C had to pick up the pieces. I'm 10DPO today and I just feel like it didn't work.
Sorry to hear you're down too. I was just thinking about how sick I am of all of this, but it's better than doing nothing!!
Hang in there. We will get our happy ending. I have a great feeling for you on this one!!
Oh Melissa, I remember that feeling all too well. Just feeling...blah. Not quite hopeful, not quite defeated. It's not a fun place to be, but I think it's inevitable that every woman going through infertility feels that way at one point or another. Take one day at a time and please know that many people are thinking of you and rooting for you. ((HUGS))
Oh Melissa, I'm so sorry you're going through this feeling. I know it so very well, especially now that things are a bit rocky for us.
I go from feeling angry and not being able to understand why so many wonderful women have such a hard time achieving their dreams to, like you say, feeling weary. Why can't we catch a break? Haven't we been tested enough?
I guess I'm trying to say that you're not alone in this, we're all waiting anxiously with you and hoping this is it for you.
Nothing but the best going your way.
I know this feeling well. Right there with you.
I do have a lot of faith that it WILL happen for you. I keep thinking you have so many things going for you.
I've heard couples with no IF issues still "only" have a 25% shot each time.
Am hoping sooner rather than later for you. But, I really have a strong feeling it will happen for you. Sorry if these sound like hollow words. I know it's so hard.
My 4th IUI was my "crash and burn" emotionally. I will never forget that. But, you my dear, have age and other great factors on your side.
Thinking of you.
GL, GL, GL!!
Praying that you get a BFP.
HUGS. Those feelings stink. Take one step at a time- and know that you have a whole army of internet friends hoping, praying, wishing for the best for you and cheering you on!
New award waiting for you on my blog. :)
hoping with you.
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