When I made my initial appointment for today's IUI, they told me that Dr. Rawks was not going to be in. Which was fine, I've had six total IUI's during my last three cycles and Dr. Rawks has only done two of them. Not a big deal. I was able to make an appointment with a Doctor that I've had before and really liked. But when we got there today, my IUI nurse told me that this doctor was no longer available. No problem, just give me anyone with a degree in Reproductive Endocrinology, and I'll be on my way... So the doctor walks in, and I suddenly realize I've had her before. And she was not good. Not good at all. Not only does she lack a personality/bedside manner, but after my last visit with her I abhorrently nicknamed her Dr. Cantfindmycervix. I literally felt bruised after the last IUI she gave me.
After reintroducing herself, she tells me that the counts of the vial they thawed only had 9.6 million. The bank we purchased from guarantee's a minimum of 10 million. I realize that this is a very small difference, but I am not happy. Since my first IUI the total thawed counts have only gone down. My first vial had 26 million - a FANTASTIC number. But the vial before this had 15 million. Still not terrible, but not as good as 26. The minimum amount that my clinic prefers for an IUI is 10 million. Dr. Cantfindmycervix, seemed to think this sample was adequate. But I just didnt feel good about it. This my FOURTH FUCKING SHOT. I NEED this to WORK. I can't do this anymore. It's really starting to wear on me... So I ask her if it's possible to thaw another vial. She tells me again, that the vial does meet their minimum requirement, but that if I wanted, they could thaw another one. She warned me that doing so, may not necessarily increase my odds. But I just didn't feel good about the single vial. I can't settle for their "minimum requirement" - I won't. Not when we've got three failed cycles under our belts. My peace of mind is worth more than the expense of an extra vial. If I had settled for the single vial and this cycle didn't work, I could not live with myself for not following my instinct and insisting on a second vial.
So it's done. The Dr, once again, had a difficult time locating my cervix for some ridiculous reason. And once again she fumbled around while giving me the play by play -"You're going to feel some pressure now", blah blah blah.... HEY LADY, THIS AINT MY FIRST RODEO. I know what a fucking speculum feels like. How's about you work a little harder on being delicate with my girlly parts, and little less on your dialog, huh?!?! So like I was saying, it's done, and I've been resting somewhat comfortably since this afternoon. I'm pretty sure I ovulated on my left side while I was typing this, and now I can feel my right side starting to ache. So I'm happy with the timing I guess. But man, was this a crappy ending to what I have so far, felt pretty confident about. But I'm not going to dwell on it. I need feel good about the rest of this cycle, I'm tired of feeling sad...
Please commence crossed fingers.
18 comments:
Sending you a truckload of over 20 million warm fuzzies. I so hope this is it for you...
I would have done the same thing, you have to do what makes you comfortable. I hope this leads to your BFP so you don't have to deal with the BS anymore. I am sending you many HUGS. I hope you feel better soon!!
I wish it would have went better but damn girl - good for you for advocating for yourself! I am impressed!!!!
I have good feelings about this one!
I'm so sorry that the crappy RE ended up doing your IUI. What were the counts with the other thawed vial? Can you get your $ back since it was under the 10 mil for the other vial? I would at least try!
Just remember- you have DOUBLE the chances of it working this time, missy. You had two great looking follicles, which is TWICE as many as before. Twins could still be in your future. :) ((HUGS)) you are making progress, even if it doesn't feel like it. Some day, some way. And I can't WAIT to read your BFP post!!!
Thanks ladies,
Katie, I forgot to mention it in my post, but I did call the Cryo Bank. The second vial had 9.75 mil. They will review my complaint, and I may be entitled to a full or partial refund. Thanks for asking. I'll be sure to post about whatever happens.
I was just going to ask how many the second vial had -- great news that you had almost 20 mil total! And good for you for filing the complaint with the bank.
My fingers are crossed for you as we enter this tww together!
Big Bear Hugs coming your way. So sorry this didn't work out the way it should've. I think you did the right think insisting on another vial... Fingers crossed for us both. Let's hope we can be due date buddies!
Ugh, Melissa, I'm sorry things didn't go as planned. That's always stressful. I know there's not a huge difference between 9.75 million and 10 million but I would've felt the exact same way you did. I'm glad to hear that you had 2 really strong follicles though. That's very encouraging and already increases your odds. Sorry about the RE who doesn't understand how to be delicate with your girly parts (how ironic that she's a woman too). Anyway, here's to a 2ww that flies by and ends with great news!
Ugh for the nasty RE, you'd think being a woman she'd know better than to be rough, no?
Anyway, it's behind you now. I wish you all the very best and the crossed fingers have been commenced over here.
Try to take it easy for the next few days and do a lot of lounging around. I know there's not much scientific evidence but I like to think it helped me. Besides, staying in bed reading a book or watching a movie is always a good plan ;-)
Stay positive! I'll be thinking of you!
Dang Nabbit (and tarrrrnations!), can't the universe pull it together and grant you at least ONE stress-free cycle? So sorry for the extra drama you had to go through.
But try to keep your eye (and heart) on the fact that today you are PUPO!!! For my wedding present, you can tell me about your BFP. ;-)
Thanks for your comment on my last post. I'll most definitely see to it that you get to meet Tristan one these days!
I, too, am so glad that you were your own advocate and insisted on two vials! Just knowing you did what you could this cycle will really help I think. I would be so mad if the vials didn't reach the required minimum amount! Good for you for looking into it and seeing if you can at least get a partial refund. Now onto the wait... but just know I am crossing EVERYTHING for you! I really hope this works. You have been through so much already.
I'm proud of you for being your own advocate. Sometimes (many times) we have to go with our gut and ask for what we think is right. I mean, we are the ones paying the money, and dealing with the emotions!
I'm sorry the IUI wasn't as stress free as you and we hoped it would be, but lets keep our fingers crossed that the few good men, or one good man that is required is there in that 20 million!
Hoping for you....
Sorry for the additional crap you had to deal with. You really do have to be your own advocate and I'm glad you did what thought was best. I'm am sending you loads of luck!
Good luck! You deserve this cycle to work, especially with having to deal with such a wretched doctor.
The cycle that worked for us had 8 million... Fairfax ended up not reimbursing us because it worked.
I'm so hoping this is it for you guys!
Hey Melissa! Thanks for your comment. Sometimes I hate blogging when I have nothing to report (it feels like I'm one of the annoying FB'ers with updates like "R.J. is ...eating toast for breakfast). But I know it's different with IF and I'm never sick of hearing updates from you gals.
I am doing a beta on 10/21. Feels like forever away. How about you? No non-imaginary symptoms yet to speak of, unfortunately.
Fucking hilarious to compare a speculum to a rodeo.
You're my hero.
There's an award waiting for you on my blog!
Peace of mind is so important! Glad you went with your gut!
Sending all positive vibes your way, lady~~~
I am hoping this is it!
ps - I think I know which doc you're referring to...Dr. No Bedside Manner. And I completely agree. I had a horrible IUI situation with a medical asst and Dr. NBM tried to "comfort me". I actually lodged a formal complaint about the MA. It's been the only bad experience I've had there (and you know I luv my doc :).
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