Am I Missing Anything?

In case you haven't read and memorized my self indulgent list of 100 things about me (listed on the tab above) something you should know - I'm an established over-packer. And not in a "Oh, ha ha, me too" kind of way, but more like in an "anxiety-ridden paranoid Boy Scout" kind of way. But I did my best to dial down the crazy for our hospital bags, because for the small amount of time I'm hoping we'll actually be at the hospital, I don't want to go too overboard. I've broken down our main bag in to subcategories, here's what we've got so far:

Toiletries:

Shampoo & Conditioner

Hair Brush

Toothbrushes

Hair Ties

Razor

Deodorant

Make-up

Chap stick

Maxi Pads

Nursing Pads

Nipple Cream

Clothes:

Laboring Gown (I'd like to wear my own clothes. I realize I'll probably have to throw the gown away. It's a sleeveless, tea length cotton night gown I bought for $4.48 at Targ.et off of the clearance rack)

Nursing Bra (I'll wear a regular one to the hospital)

Socks and Roo's (Underwear) (For both Mom and Dad) (AWWWWW)

Maternity Pants (to go home in)

Over sized Cardigan (In place of a robe)

Shirts (For both Mom and Dad)

Flannel Bottoms (For Dad)

Misc:

Pillows 

Camera's & Chargers

Call List

iPad

Bose Speaker (For playing music from an iPod)

iPod

Food:

Cereal Bars

Apple Sauce

Crackers

Trail Mix

Gatorade

Stuff for the Nurses (I need to run by Cos.tco to pick up a large tin of Cookies or Chocolates as a thank you to the staff)

Diaper Bag:

Diapers  (I know the hospital will provide some)

Wipes

Feeding Cover

Baby Nail Clippers

Burpee's

Blankets

Mittens

Socks

Shirts (These were recommended by a friend who just had a baby. She said they're great because they won't disturb baby's tender belly button, and they have built in mittens which are ideal for two reasons 1. They provide protection from the baby's nails in case the stupid mittens you brought won't stay on. 2. Keeps your potentially germ plagued visitors from grabbing baby's hands - It's flu season, yo)

Hats

Three different outfits (ranging in sizes, cause we don't know how big or little our monkey will be)

So what say you ladies? Am I missing anything? 

All Along The Watchtower

Ever feel like you're being watched?

I DO.

It took me several weeks of getting used to people asking how I was feeling as opposed to how I was doing, but now - it's got an entirely different context to it. And it's not just "How are you feeling? " it's "Hooowwww are you Feeeeeeeling??????"

And I'm super annoyed by it.

(fyi, if you know me in real life and have access to this blog, you're not included in this post - It's my crazy family that's making me want to kill someone)

Please understand, I'm grateful to have so many people in my life who care about me, and this baby. And it's arrival. But the last thing I ever want is for people to make a fuss over me, and if they have to, I don't want to know about it. 


So my family has been all up in my grill over the last week wanting to know "Hooowwww I'm Feeeeeeeling??????", and it really just wants to make me turn off my phone and lock my doors. And for some reason, the impending birth of this child is brining up all sorts of dysfunctional family dynamics just like weddings do. And it's kind of astonishing how many demands are being made of us. "So and so wants to know THE MOMENT you go into labor so she can blah, blah, blah" 


How about this, I don't really give a shit what you want. Our plan is to labor as long as we can at home and after we decide to go to the hospital, and once we get admitted and settled, we'll make a couple of calls to let people know where we're at. Then whoever wants to come to the hospital can do so that their leisure.


Okay, sorry, just had to get that off my chest. 


But to update all of you whom I love, and don't have any problem telling every detail to: I'm feeling okay. I am getting Braxton Hicks pretty consistently, especially when I walk a lot. I was never carrying super high, so I don't think I've dropped. But I can feel a slight heaviness in my pelvis. Mostly when I get up from sitting or laying down. Which from what I understand means the baby is dropping into the birth canal. Other than that things are moving right along. I'm being as productive as I can throughout the day, but definitely not pushing myself. Oh, and I might be a little more cranky than usual. :) Our hospital bags, and the baby's diaper bag is completely packed. And I feel ready. 


So unbelievably ready. 

Checking In!

Hello! I'm here, and still pregnant!

Monday was my first official day of maternity leave and I could not feel more relieved... Honestly, I wish that my leave had started the week of Thanksgiving instead. Initially I planned to work up until my due date, then changed it to a week before, and once sleep started becoming ridonkulous I bumped it back another week.  For those of you still early on in your pregnancy, and especially if this is your first one, I would highly recommend planning to be out a minimum of two weeks before your due date. Just because you really don't know what your body is going to do. And it's been nice to have some down time to get all of the little things wrapped up.

So the sleeping thing has gotten a little easier to manage, but only because I stopped fighting it. About the middle of last week I stopped worrying about needing to be functional at a certain time and I just got up instead of laying in bed torturing myself over how much more sleep I should be getting. I'm staying up a lot later, instead of going to bed at the usual time and my sleep has been SO much less fitful. And if I wake up and can't go back to sleep for more than 30 minutes, I get up and do something useful. And even though the timing is a little stupid, the quality of sleep I'm getting is better so I'm not as exhausted all the time.

I can't believe it's Thursday already. I've been so busy this week, that I've hardly had time to sit down and catch up on blogs.  Wow, NINE days until our due date - BANANA'S! 

More later!

Zero To One Thousand Sixty

So like I was saying in my last post, it's reeeealy truly hit me that this is it. We have like 17 more days until our due date. SEVENTEEN DAYS!!! What the mother fuck??? 

I'm currently operating on three speeds: 

1. Drop dead exhausted

2. Wired like a meth head

3. Cranky bitch who wants to, but can't seem to get enough done. And no you can't help cause you won't do it right. (I believe the books poetically refer to this as "nesting", but I also currently believe the authors are morons.)

I'm going to blame that last speed on my current state of consistent sleep deprivation. Cause oh my hell does trying to sleep suck my ass. Being in bed is barely tolerable and then I have to get up to pee. And turning over in bed is harder than trying to like the Twilight movies. (I want so badly to love them as much as I did the books, but sweet Jesus does Kristen Stewart suck {ha ha} what little talent is in the cast to begin with out of those movies. Taylor Lautner is almost as bad but at least he serves as a little piece of eye candy.) What was I talking about? Sleep. Right. It sucketh mightily. But I fully understand that this is my body's way of preparing me to be up every two hours feeding and taking care of my sweet baby. In that case? I'M READY, YO.

Belly Wise all sorts of things are a happenin' in/on there. More stretch marks, yay. And cheese and crackers has Round Ligament pain come back with a vengeance. I guess that's because my uterus is the size of Nebraska, and it's getting harder for those little ligaments to haul all that weight around. 

 I'm fairly certain the kiddo is getting pretty cramped in there too. The last few days it feels like he/she has been doing squat-thrusts and lunges in an attempt to make more room in there. Which sounds adorable, and believe me I'm pretty sure I'll miss it some day, but right now it's getting to the point where it just plain hurts.

More than once I've mistaken my fingers for Vienna Sausages. My poor hands are getting so swollen that I have resorted to wearing this ghetto fabulous little number that I got from a Bachelorette party like a million years ago: 

I know it seems nuts, but the stones in the ring are so absurdly large that it makes my fingers seem not-so-corndog-like. Seriously by the afternoon, the lines around my knuckles are disturbingly smooth.

The girls. TMI warning - they haven't gotten any larger but something in them is a brewin'. I've been noticing little droplets of liquid from them since around 28 weeks, but it's getting more consistent now. And if I massage my breasts a little I can actually sort of make stuff come out. It looks like both colostrum and milk. Kinda crazy, kinda cool. 

In the five days we have made an obscene amount of progress in getting ready for baby. 

The furniture is finally in

Curtains are up

The baby's laundry is completely done, folded and put away 

Car seat is installed - though we still need to run it by a fire station to have it okay'd (for peace of mind)

Here is Brian being all ridiculously cute and daddy-like installing said car seat:

Bassinet is put together

Hospital Bag is 70% ready to go

- I know I should have had that done weeks ago, but read my last post if you're still not following. Ten percent of the missing items I need to shop for and the other twenty percent are last minute things we can't pack until it's actually time to go. 

And helping to make it all Super DUPER real: Friday is my last day of work!

So it's umm, well after midnight here and I am WIDE awake-asaurus- rex. 

Think I'll go mow the lawn or something! 

PEACE. 

Oh! I added two new pics to the Photo Gallery. One is a belly pic and the other is  a last minute u/s they ordered for a growth check on account of my MTHFR. Baby is measuring in the 43rd percentile. 

Enjoy!

Oh Right, We're Having A Baby

Despite the fact that we’ve had two showers and completed all of our birth classes (totaling 18 hours). And spent the last 255 days convincing myself that I really am pregnant. Sometimes I forget we’re going to have a baby. Like being pregnant and having a baby are two totally separate things. I guess in some ways, and in some tragic scenario’s, they are. But I’m not planning on any tragedies. I’d say we deserve a few years of mind numbing commonalities, no? (As do all of you, as well.)

Seriously, it’s just starting to hit me that we are going to have a child. Like, the next time I need an oil change, there will be a car seat in the back of my car with a little person in it.  Bananas... This whole time all everyone has ever talked about is “when the baby comes”, but the only thing I could ever focus on was the fact that I was actually pregnant.  And apparently staying that way. Yes, part of me acknowledges that there is the child we’ve wanted so badly growing right here and my womb, and I am so overjoyed and anxious to finally meet him or her. But somehow my mind never let me fully acknowledge that we might end up being parents in December. 

Now here we are... I’m 37 weeks along, which is technically full term. I can feel our little monkey’s movements so clearly that I can also tell that he or she is swiftly running out of room in there. Still head down, back and bottom is on/against my right side. (The placenta is on the left). But it’s hitting me now. REALLY hitting me. And I am SO fucking excited. 

It's In The Air

Brian and I were driving to our birth class last week when we noticed a house with Christmas lights up. 

Christmas lights. 

Since we started talking about the impending birth of this baby, we've loosely used the term "this Christmas" in reference to when the baby will potentially be here. Well now "this Christmas" is right around the corner and HOLY CRAP am I having a hard time wrapping my head around that. And you know what else? Today is exactly one month from our due date...

I find it funny however that at I am quite accepting of  and have no trouble counting down the days, minutes, and seconds until my maternity leave starts. Holy schnikies if we could afford it I would have taken the four weeks off before hand. I have a lot to do at work, and am eager to do it. But every morning when I literally roll out of bed, I shake my head and think  _ _  more days of this crap... 

How about some pictures?!

They're from my second shower, thrown by my friend Teresa and another Childhood friend. It was lovely and everything I wanted. Just a great group of ladies whom I'm grateful to call my friends. Eating, laughing, and as they all do so well, supporting me. The favors were homemade Biscotti cookies. The reasons I'm grateful for these are three fold: 

1. I fucking hate leaving a shower with some tchotchke crap that will only end up loose and rolling around under the seats in my car while the contents ultimately melt and the container inexplicably opens up only to stain my floor mats or goop up some crevasse I only notice when something important falls in to it. 

2. They were made from scratch with love on my behalf.

3. Mmmmmmmmmm COOOKIEEEES. 

Pumpkin Pecan Biscotti

She also did an Orange and Dark Chocolate Chip one - RI-donkulously good!

Next we have two other ladies whom I have shared this pregnancy with . The one on the far left is the wife of one of Brian's childhood friends. The one in the middle is one of my good friends whom I've known since middle school. It just so happens that we're all due within two weeks of each other. Good times.

November 30,   December 28,   December 17




On pregnancy note, my bellybutton is becoming ever so scarce. The stretchmarks I was hoping to avoid however, are not. They are small, and dark pink and on the underside of my belly. I can only see them in the mirror. But I guess they are still pretty minimal based on some other maternity pics I have seen. Plus I already have a ridiculous amount of stretchmarks on my hips and breasts from crazy growth spurts during puberty. And these new ones were very hard earned  and I think I might just come to love them. 

Here's What I'm Thinking....

“We Plan, God Laughs”


“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans”


“Don’t make plans, just planned to be surprised”


Between the books about birthing, and the medical professionals I’ve spoken with. Not to mention plain ol’ life experience, I’ve learned that making plans can often backfire on you. After all, I assumed that by the age of 32, I’d be pregnant with my second kid. At least that was my plan four years ago. 


This post is going to be about my “birth plan”, but I don’t want to call it that. Because even my super mellow, very open minded Midwife cringes at the concept of a birth plan. Her reason being that a small percentage of births are ever actually “text book”.  I’ve heard other doctors say they are concerned with patients having Birth Plans because if things go off course, the patient can get very nervous, agitated or even disillusioned. 


Which is another reason I love my Bradley Method classes. It’s not just about natural childbirth. It’s about being informed. They talk to about epidurals and C-Sections, and they are not viewed as failures, it’s just what happens sometimes. The important thing is that you’re educated on what your options are.


So here’s what I’m thinking I’d like from the hospital staff during the birth of our child, if circumstances remain ideal: 


(I'll be giving this letter to my midwife for my chart, and bringing several copies to the hospital on the big day.)


Hello! We are Melissa and Brian G, impending parents to a wonderful baby whom we don't know the sex of yet (and would love to keep it that way until the birth, please!) We spent over four years trying to get to this point, so this baby is very long awaited. We are practicing the Bradley Method and barring any unforeseen complications, hope to have as little intervention as possible. 

During Labor we would appreciate:

• No visitors (not even Mom's) :)
• Lights and voices kept low
• Minimal Staff interruptions
• A nurse who is open to or experienced with natural birthing
• No IV if possible.
• No pain scale questions or offering of pain medications
• Minimal Internal exams
• Please do not rupture membranes (break my water)
• No Episiotomy - Perineal Massage is preferred
• Freedom to move. i.e. walk, shower, use birthing ball, and laboring bar

Delivery: 

• Minimal coached pushing: we are hoping to use a method to breathe the baby out
• Skin to Skin time: Please place the baby directly on to the mothers chest or abdomen and leave to breastfeed and bond with the parents for at least the first 30 minutes. 
• Please delay cleaning, weighing or measuring
• Refrain from clamping or cutting the umbilical cord until it has stopped pulsing
• Father would like to cut the cord when the time comes
• Allow up to an hour before the placenta is delivered. No Pitocin if possible. 

A good portion of my labor will be spent meditating and focusing inward on myself and my body. Letting it do what it needs to do. I’ve been working on meditation for a few years now and hope to use the techniques I’ve learned to help me get through the most difficult parts of labor. Brian will be there to help and support me emotionally and physically. By giving massages, walking with me, helping me balance while squatting either on the birthing ball, or laboring bar, or in his arms, and offering encouragement and praise as I progress. He will also make sure that I am drinking reasonable amounts of water, and snacking as necessary to maintain my strength. 

I know the snacking thing is controversial. Our Bradley teacher advises snacks that are very easily digested, because your body will require so much energy elsewhere. So apple sauce, soup broth, a banana, juices – great, now I want apple sauce- you get the picture. This will mostly be done at home, and the plan is to labor there as long as possible. My understanding on the whole reason hospitals won’t let you eat:  in case they have to put you under general anesthetic. Which is rare during child birth, they mostly use epidurals. And it’s really just a precaution to prevent other complications. From having full intestines during surgery, or in case the GA makes you nauseous and you throw up and aspirate while on the table... And various other unpleasantries.  The truth is, they have other measures to combat this – what if you’re in a car accident on your way back from a pie eating contest and they have to stop your internal bleeding? They’re not going to wait 12 hours for your system to clear out, right? So yes, it’s safe to snack during labor, maybe just skip the meatball sub. 

Brian and I have also asked our friend Teresa to be in the room with us acting as a Doula. She will be there to support and advocate for both Brian and I. Aside from being a very dear friend, her qualifications include: Three completely natural, uncomplicated births. The last one being at home (yes, on purpose). We think she will be a very good asset for the outcome we desire, and we’re so glad she accepted. 

If any of you have a similar birth plan (Hi Josey! Hi foxy!), and see something I forgot, feel free to mention it in a comment. If you think I’m ridiculous for not wanting an epidural and would like to remind me “there’s no points for pain”,  feel free to kiss BOTH SIDES of my ass.

November Already

Brian spent all of last weekend finishing the nursery. Primer, paint, install new crown molding, paint new molding and existing trim, repaint closet door. He was a very busy guy, but he got it all done and it looks fabulous. By that Sunday night we were able to move the crib, and all of the items we had received from the family shower into the room. When I picked up the first bag of consolidated goodies a little sting of a tear hit my eye. And by the third bag, it had turned into uncontrollable weeping. I cried because I couldn’t believe we were moving things in to the room that had caused me so much pain for so long, just by simply existing. I cried because we have a reason to move things into that room. I cried because I thought of all the deserving people who are still waiting to have a reason to fill their spare room. And I cried because I feel so fucking lucky that our time has almost come. Brian didn’t say a word, he just hugged me. He knew exactly why I was crying. 

The room is slowly coming together. I have been progressively taking pictures of each step, and am working on a slide show to post for when we have it mostly ready/done. I wanted to wait for this last shower before I started putting things together. We need to do an inventory of clothes and necessities to find out what else we still need, which I’m incredibly humbled to say, probably won’t be much. Everyone has been very generous. The other shower was this weekend, and holy crow do we feel spoiled. This was mostly just girlfriends, and it was really lovely, and easy and fun. 98% of the ladies had met or known each other before so, it just felt like a gathering and not a production. No games (again), just food, chatting, and gifts. All I could have wanted and more.

Pregnancy wise, things are going well. I have to say I think the third trimester is WAY harder than the first. I’m so much more tired and slow, and it seems like regular errands take me twice as long as they should. The Friday before Halloween I was picking up groceries and a few pumpkins, I was so tired that I actually asked a store bagging clerk for help out to my car... that was a reality check.  I always have big plans for the weekend to kick ass around the house, but I inevitably get a late start, (due to being in bed) and end up taking a nap or at least have to sit down for a bit more than a few times. And also lately we’ve just had so much going on. Showers for me (and to other friends) And just various other activities. But I’ve blocked out two weekends this month so we won’t have ANY plans. I just can’t do it all anymore! 

How far along? 34 Weeks, 3 days

How big is the baby? Enormous. Okay probably about only 5 - 5.5 pounds.

Weight gain? 34 lbs. and still six weeks to go. Part of me doesn’t really care how much I gain, the other part of me says my Post-partum self won't feel quite as unerstanding.

Maternity Clothes? Maternity clothes are fine, but if I had my way I would forgo wearing pants or a bra for the next 40+/- days.

Sleep? Sleep sort of blows. My hips and back are getting pretty sore. If I’m not up peeing, or walking off a hip cramp, I’m rearranging the eleven pillows that help keep me comfortable for 7-9 minutes at a time. The good news is that because one night I’ll sleep ridiculously awful, the next night I’m usually so exhausted that I’ll sleep semi decent.

Gender? Let you know next month {next. month. (!)}

Movement? Lots. Break dancing, Yoga and handstands are my guesses, because holy crap there is a ruckus going on in there, almost to the point of it being a little painful. It pinches. But it’s still super fun watching my belly move.

Food? Food is GREAT. I LOVE FOOD. I eat it. A LOT. I have a snack between breakfast and lunch and one between lunch and dinner. And occasionally a small bowl of cereal before bed. I’m trying to keep my snacks relatively healthy (fruit or yogurt), but I will say my sweet tooth is very much in full effect the rest of the day.

What I miss? Not a damn thing.

What I’m looking forward too? HAVING A BABY.

Milestones? Being 34 weeks, 3 days. Having been thrown two beautiful showers.

Symptoms? Heartburn, fatigue, muscle cramps, little bit of swelling in the hands (I can’t wear my wedding rings anymore). Oh and I think I’m starting to get the cliché “pregnancy brain”, though I hate that saying and would rather attribute it to my lack of sleep.  But yeah, I’m pretty foggy and forgetful. Not fun. Still wouldn't trade it for the world though. 

How Bizarre

We have baby stuff. 

In OUR house. 

And not just tucked away in one room, it’s like, spread out all over. The nursery is being painted, so everything was pulled out. The crib is in the office, along with the haul of gifts we received at my family shower this past weekend. Stuffed animals are on our dresser, because Parker thinks they are his, and would love nothing more than to massacre them in 6.4 seconds flat. Items to be returned to BRU are in the living room. Handmade gifts that will be returned so that a name can be embroidered on them are sitting on the kitchen table. Larger items like the car seat and bouncy chair and swing, are in the garage. So everywhere I look there is something for this baby growing inside of me. And it’s bizarre. 

The shower went remarkably well, I’d say. As much as I imagined that day to basically be my worst nightmare, my MIL’s friends did a very good job of orchestrating every detail so that the guests weren’t held hostage all day.


 Appetizers, Chatting, Lunch, Gifts, Cake, DONE. 


While it felt like several hours due to how much attention I was receiving, in actuality it ran about three. Pretty good for 37 women in one room.  We got a lot of wonderful gifts, and I am overwhelmed by everyone’s thoughtfulness and generosity. We had quite the car load to take home. And now we actually have enough clothing to do a full load of laundry! Up until Sunday I’d only had four onesies put aside. 

CAKE!

Me.

Our first Christmas outfit!

A super snuggly little one piece suit, perfect for winter.

A super soft blanket to remind me that we are having a baby. 




I hit the 32 week mark last weekend, and emotionally it gave me a little breathing room. I do realize that if our little one came today they would probably be in the NICU for several weeks, but just the knowledge that the survival rate is SO much higher at this point, brings me a bit of peace. And it's really truly finally starting to set in with me that we are actually going to have a baby. WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A BABY.


Pregnancy wise, things continue to go well. The bladder infection seems to have cleared up, and while I'm still up at least twice a night to pee, it's better than four times a night. Although the other downside to the antibiotics is that they gave me a yeast infection. I guess part of what they did is killed some of the other necessary bacteria in there, resulting in a YI. Boo. 


My belly is definitely getting A LOT bigger. I've started to bump into more things with it, as well as spilling on it. The baby is getting more and more active and stronger each day. Last night Brian and I were laying in bed watching TV when all of a sudden the baby started going ape. And because I was laying on my side, my belly was really soft so the kicks looked and felt even stonger. The look on Brian's face made me fall in love with him and the baby even more. It was just priceless. Then we watched my belly moving for a little while. It's indescribable each time I re-comprehend (I make up words) that there is a little person in there. 


I definitely feel like I'm slowing down. Which at 8 months, I suppose, should be the case... While I miss being able to kick ass, I am still loving every second of what makes me so tired and lazy. And I'm just so very grateful. 

What Day Is It???

Holy Schinikies it’s almost November. Sorry for the lack of updating, it’s been an eventful few weeks for me. Swamped at work, various social obligations, a bladder infection, my anniversary, my very first shower will be this weekend AND I have NOTHING to wear for it!

Work is a little banana’s just because well, it happens. But also because I am trying to wrap up all of my loose ends on top of preparing various folks in the office to take over my duties while I’m out. My last day of work will be December 2^nd. WOOT. 

I had another check up this week. I’m on the every two weeks schedule now. This time I saw a different Midwife in the practice. She seems to be a little more technically skilled than the other one I've seen, but personality wise she’s a big dull dud. Whattaya gonna do? Based on my tales of bathroom trips, something caught her attention and she had me checked for a bladder infection. Turns out there was a small infection brewing. BOO. I’m not thrilled about being on Antibiotics, but the alternative is spending the rest of this pregnancy running to the loo (even MORE), and risking preterm labor. No thanks. 

Brian and I celebrated our EIGHTH wedding anniversary on Tuesday! I scheduled the midwife appointment for later in the afternoon, so that I could skip out of work early and we could just head off to dinner afterwards. Dinner was delayed a bit by my inability to produce a urine sample to have tested for the infection. One giant red Solo cup full of water, and 25 minutes later I claimed victory. In the mean time we gave lots of love to the office dog- Newie, and chatted with the midwives about restaurant recommendations. We were there after the office had closed, so the staff had time to chat. Afterward we went to a lovely Italian place. I had Farfalle Pasta with chicken and prosciutto in a cream sauce, and we shared chocolate cake. SO GOOD. Happy Anniversary dear, I love you!

My MIL and her best friends are throwing me a shower this weekend. I’m excited and moderately terrified at the same time. There will be almost 40 women there. Aye Carramba. Brian has a large extended family, and his mother in particular is quite social. I think I only have about seven people coming from my side to this blessed event. It’s a little larger than I had hoped for, but I realize this is a very good problem to have. I tend to fall on the less is more, intimate gatherings are best, pleasegodplease don’t let me be the center of attention, philosophies. That’s totally out of the question here. But at least I was able to talk them out of doing games! I hate shower games. Sorry. 

We’re finally making some progress with the nursery. The walls are being painted with primer as I type this. Then we just need to throw up a few of the sample colors we got and go from there! The furniture is almost ready. And I’ll just have to wait and see what we get from the shower to find out what else we need! I am actually having one more shower after this one. My bff Teresa is throwing it, and 98% of the guests are girlfriends seeings how the giant one this weekend will consist mostly of family. That one is in two weeks.

Pregnancy wise everything is pretty great. It's definitely getting a little tougher physically. My hips, and back hurt at night. It's hard to turn over and or get out of bed. I get winded doing some simple activities just because my chest feels like there is less room for my lungs to expand. But all of that is part of what I signed up for and I'm incredibly grateful for it. 

For Those Who Have Lost...

In honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

When You Get Here

30 Weeks this week. I can’t believe you’ll be here in less than three months! Well, not to jinx it  - I should say there are less than 70 days left until you’re due date. Which just seems bananas. But I know you’ll come out whenever it is you’re ready. (hopefully not too soon!)

Your dad and I are enjoying getting ready for you. We’re taking a birth class wherein your father has been dubbed my “Coach”. But I’m pretty sure in Dad-speak he believes that equals being the boss of me. And he’s loving every minute of it.  We’ve slowly begun to acquire what our friends deem to be necessary items, most of them second hand. Which is just fine with us. We’ve spent close to what would have been your freshman year at Stanford’s tuition just to get you here, so I’m not going to freak out about a previously swung in swing. We’re just grateful for the lengthy list of super awesome people who've helped us with said items. Don't worry, you'll meet them soon enough. 

I’ve started my list for the bag(s) I’ll bring to the hospital when you’re born. You should be forewarned - I am a profoundly daft over-packer. I’ve pulled various suggestions from online forums and books that seem like they will apply to us. But even in keeping with valid recommendations, I’m pretty sure your dad will have to tow another vehicle to haul all the crap I’ll bring.

Most of the preparations feel exciting and appropriate. But a big part of me doesn’t care about the rest of the pomp and circumstance of showers and decorating. Because all I can think about is finally meeting you. And more than that I am just looking so forward to the moment I realize that I don’t remember what our life was like without you. See you in December.

Love,

momma

Is It Too Late To Start These?

I’ve been so super swamped lately, but I dread the idea of letting too many details go about this pregnancy. So I figured this would be a good temporary solution, since I have three half written posts lingering as drafts. The one on Child Birth classes being the most important to me thus far. I will try to dedicate more time to getting them done, I SWEAR. 

here goes:

How far along? 29 Weeks, 2 days

How big is the baby? About 2 ½ pounds. At the Biophysical Profile u/s I had two weeks ago during our little scare, the tech said baby g was measuring in the 50^th percentile. Which she also said was a good thing.

Weight gain? Yes, have some.

Maternity Clothes? Clothes are fine. I’ve started to notice some things that used to be big fit just right now, and others that were just right are running a little snug over my belly.

Sleep? Sleep is getting quite inconsistent. I wake up with hip pain a lot, and have had overall a tough time keeping my mind quiet. Not to mention it’s getting a lot harder to roll over. I still pee two –three times a night. I really enjoy when I can squeeze in a four hour stretch of not having to pee. Oh, and I’ve been getting a pretty significant case of Restless Leg Syndrome. Sometimes I can walk it off, but if not I usually end up taking a hot shower. That usually cures it.

Gender? Duuno. But Brian is pretty convinced it’s a boy. Whatev’s.

Movement? Plenty. Most of it feels like the baby is stretching an arm or a leg out. I think I can also feel the hiney, it feels too big to be a limb and not round enough to be the head. Also, the baby switches sides a lot. Always head down, and moving to my left or right side. Though I always wonder how they got there without me noticing…

Food? My appetite is MUCH better. I’m starting to enjoy most of the old stuff I normally love. Just a little more of it though. =D

What I miss? Not a damn thing.

What I’m looking forward too? Getting the nursery together. I suddenly feel a very strong urge to have all of that done. Plus I can’t wait to have baby clothes to wash and fold and put away!

Milestones? Every single day feels like a milestone. I marvel at movements, my reflection, and just the simple knowledge of it all on a daily basis.

Symptoms? Swelling. Starting to get a little of the hand and foot swelling I was desperately hoping to avoid. I also noticed my rings are starting to feel tight. 

Okay, more to come!


Oh, P.S. I added two pictures from my brothers wedding to the post from September 21st, so's that you can all see my not terribly flattering bridesmaid dress. 

Seriously???

Well I got to spend the rest of my afternoon yesterday with my feet up, in bed. The bad news is, it was in Labor & Delivery... Let me preface the rest of the story with the baby is fine, and so am I. But we did have a scare.


My appointment started off great, I remembered the list of questions I'd had for my midwife and she answered them all succinctly. Then we went over my Gestational Diabetes test results - which I passed with flying colors. Wooo! However, my lab results showed that I am pretty anemic. Which makes sense. I've been really tired lately, more so than normal. But I chalked it up to being on the cusp of my third trimester, and the fact that I haven't been sleeping great lately. My hips are starting to hurt more in bed, and it's getting harder to roll over. I also use about four pillows each night, so when I do turn over, I have to rearrange all my pillows every time. On top of getting up at least twice to pee... Anyhoo, to wrap up the appointment she checked my fundal height and grabbed her doppler. It took her a minute to find the heart beat, but that didn't worry me because I'd been feeling some movement. When she did find it though, the heartbeat was on the low side of normal. Around 121 bpm, where as my last appointment it was at 156. Early in our meeting when she asked about movement, I mentioned that the baby had been moving like crazy the two days prior, but a little more "mellow" that day. More movements, less kicks. So with that combination, she was a little concerned and let me know she wanted to send me over to L&D for a Non Stress Test. They monitor your BP, check for contractions, and monitor the baby's heart rate. They also wanted me to go down to radiology to check my amniotic fluid levels. My midwife, did her best to make it sound like no biggie, but when she suggested that Brian meet me there, I started to panic a little more. 


I drove myself across the street to the hospital, and made my way to L&D, shaking my head. After our little fender-bender last month I SWORE I wouldn't be back there until December... I handed them my paperwork, and they set me up in a monitoring room - not a delivery suite. Still it happened to be the same monitoring room we were in last month. Boo. By the time the nurse was hooking me up to the monitors, Brian was walking in the door. We had the sweetest nurse. She was an older Irish lady, with a thick but discernible accent. She explained what the print out and numbers meant on the monitor, then tilted her head a little to the side and told me not to worry, that everything would probably be fine. And that's when I lost it. Brian squeezed my hand and explained to her how it'd been a very long road for us, she put her arm around me offering a squeeze and a pat on the shoulder. They kept me there for almost an hour then sent me down for the u/s. The tech we had there was very nice, and was very honest about everything she was seeing. Baby looked great, fluid levels looked great. I guess between the NST, and the u/s they give you a score based on certain parameters. We got a perfect 10. So they sent on our way. It had been a very long day, and we didn't get home until almost 8pm. My appointment was at 3:15...


So I'm thankful to say everything is great, but man did yesterday suck. Please commence hoping and praying that the next twelve weeks remain remarkably uneventful... 

Because I'm Grateful

I’m hoping with all I’ve got that I didn’t come across like a complete spoiled brat in my last post. The reality of it is that I like to write ranty posts. And in those posts I tend to blow things out of proportion. Not to say that we didn’t encounter the world’s biggest tool in the form of a BRS employee, or that I didn’t cry while filling out the application for our registry. Because I did. I cried because I couldn’t believe we were finally in the position to do this. For years that store had been a source of heartache and misery for me, and I couldn’t fathom the concept that we were sitting in it. Registering for products. For our baby. And please know that I completely understand that being overwhelmed by all of that is a great problem to have…

And also for reference, blowing things out of proportion; usually funnier. 

I’ve done a little more registering, all online. And we did register with Amaz.on, which is cool because you can register for products universally – like for things on Etsy. By the way is it EEEEtsee or Ehhhtsy? I also want to thank those of you who recommended the baby bargain book. Which reminds me I have to give a shout out to Shelby who personally recommended it to me MONTHS ago, and I forgot. Until I saw it in all of your comments… Go me. 

There’s been a shift in perception for me. I think part of it due to feeling the baby constantly move and kick – Brian has too! And also just from the simple act of counting each week, and how far along I’ve made it in this pregnancy. It’s mind blowing and I am so fricken thankful every day. While I’m of course overjoyed with the idea of meeting our baby, I’m starting to feel a little sad that this pregnancy is almost over. I have less than 13 weeks left. And this will probably be my last. Yes, we have one frozen embryo, but who is to say it will make it through the defrost, and then take. The other part is, I’m not sure I want to go through the treatment rollercoaster ever again. Mostly because it fucking blows, but also because we’re still paying off this first one. And all of the factors as to why we might just have the one, is a perfect reminder of exactly how far we’ve come and how much it pains me to think about how there are so many of you out there who are still elbow deep in it.  Several of whom I am friends with IRL. I hope you don’t think I’ve forgotten. Because believe me, it never goes away. 


I guess I also just want to convey that on top of being grateful, I am actually very much enjoying this pregnancy. And now that the baby is more active, I'm starting to realize we'll actually have an infant to bring home in a few months. And the more I think about it, and the more I watch my tummy move from kicks and turns, the more in love I fall. It's breathtaking. 

Well my brother's wedding is done. It was beautiful and fun, and I've gained a fabulous new Sister-in-Law. You might remember I ordered a regular dress two sizes too big, because I was 10-12 weeks or so at the time. Then I got it and it was a tent. I think the alterations lady did the best she could, but it still kind of looked like a moo-moo. The bottom line is that it was just not meant to be a maternity dress. I loved the color, and it was definitely comfy, but flattering - not so much. 


And my most exciting update. I have a new Doctor! Or better yet, Midwife! She is part of a practice with three OB's, and one other Midwife. While she plans to be in town for Christmas, there is a small possibility I could end up with someone else in the practice on the big day. But anyway, she's FANTASTIC. My first appointment with her was two weeks ago, and when we first sat down they hadn't gotten my charts from my other OB yet. So we just talked. I told her all about my IF history, and every step of my pregnancy along the way. And  when I told her about wanting to pursue natural child birth, do you know what she said to me? "Wow, good for you. I can see how doing it naturally would be so healing after everything you've been through".. OMFG, SHE GETS IT. And I didn't even have to explain myself! She was so friendly, and so compassionate. And took the time to explain little things that are going on with the baby, that no one else ever has! She checked my fundal height - right on target! And showed me how to tell exactly how high my uterus is. And holy crap, get this: They have an office Dog. A sweet little female black lab, who wanders around looking for the next most comfortable place to sleep. Maybe hoping for a little love on the way there. SO COOL. I know that might sound strange, believe me, their office is in a large medical facility. Not some alley. Anyway, the rest of the staff seems really cool too. 


I go back again this afternoon because I'm so far along and because she didn't have my records, she wanted to see me again in two weeks so that we could review everything. I also had my Gestational Diabetes Test last Thursday, so I'll probably get the results then. I'm SO hoping that no news is good news and that they didn't bother to call me since I'm coming in. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. The stuff tasted like flat sprite with about a cup of sugar added to it. This coming from someone who rarely drinks soda. Drinking the stuff at least took the edge off being hungry, but at the same time gave me a bit of a sour stomach. All and all, not the worst experience...


Our first birthing class will actually be this weekend. It was supposed to be last week, but it's long story that I will fill you in on after the class. Sorry, I've been MIA... I've had so many posts in my head, but you know how it goes...


Update: Per request, here are some pics from the wedding. =)

Brian talking to the baby

Me and the Maid of Honor

See, it's not awful, just not flattering. I don't look pregnant, I look thick. Ahh well....

Registered Imbecile

I’d like to take this opportunity to thank the 17 year-old fuckstick behind the registry counter at babies.r.us, for helping to make our registering experience remarkably awful. Not only did you ridicule our choice to keep the sex of our unborn child a surprise, but you also managed to be completely useless in the mean-time. Well done, idiot. 

Okay, our experience wasn’t entirely awful. But you have to know me well enough by now that you understand my penchant for chastising stupid people. That is not to say that I never find myself in the position to feel completely useless and idiotic. Because I can be. And four years of infertility has helped make sure of that. You see, during those four years going anywhere near the vicinity of a baby-centric store brought forth so much pain that it was literally difficult to breathe. Hell, if I’m being honest, it sucked just to pass the baby food isle at the grocery store.  So I should have had some idea that after years of not needing said products, on top of years of avoiding them, that it would pretty much guarantee that I’d know JACK SHIT about any of it now that the time has come that I actually do need it. Jack. Shit. 

The evening started off by me almost completely losing it while filing out the one page questionnaire to get our registry started. 

Registrants Name: Melissa G. 

Co-Registrants Name: Brian awesomely supportive, even when his wife proves yet again to be bat-shit crazy, G.

Event date: Cue unrelenting tears. 

So I made it through the rest of the questionnaire and seven isles and 83 minutes later we had to stop because I couldn’t wrap my head around the magnitude of it all anymore. It was like complete and utter sensory overload. On top of that I have never felt so uninformed as a consumer. I knew almost absolutely nothing about the products. Who was reputable, and which products were worth the extra money? Do I need to sterilize the bottles? If so, why do they sell drying wracks? How come some have straws and some have bags? I’d done research on the basics like strollers and car seats, but I know nothing of baby monitors or what makes one diaper bag more useful than the other.  Imagine going to Home Depot for the very first time and being asked to compile all the parts in order to build a water heater from scratch. And if you don’t do it right, your peers will laugh at you and also, it proves you’re going to be a bad mother. 

We went two different times, and I left there more cross-eyed each time. Thank god for my best friend, Teresa. She has three boys. So she knows. And she’s going to make it all better. Because otherwise? I’m not going back.

Busy Bee

Gah, I hate that it’s been so long since I’ve updated. I’ve had so many posts I’ve started, and things I wanted to write here, but time has not been my friend. My brother is getting married in two weeks so I’ve been caught up in showers and bachelorette planning, yada yada. Oh, and you may remember I’m a bridesmaid. I ordered the dress when I was 10 weeks along, not having any idea of what my body would do. So I ordered it two sizes too big, assuming that I’d totally have double chins and cankles by now. I have rarely been so grateful to be wrong. I picked up my dress last week and it is a tent. The alterations lady did her best to reassure me that I did the right thing since I this is my first, and that she’ll make the dress look fabulous. I really hope she’s right. These pictures will be around for decades… 


So what’s next? My Blood pressure! It’s awesome yo! And let me tell you why. It has nothing to do with medication, I’m happy to say. Not long after my last post I met with a Doula who is also a licensed massage therapist - YAY. She spent FOUR hours at my house. On a Thursday night! She was so fantastic and informative, and supportive and warm. I love her to PIECES. I mentioned the issues with my blood pressure and my new low sodium regimen. This is when the “NEED TO FIND ALTERNATIVE PRENATAL CARE- STAT” alarm really kicked in. She told me about the Brewer diet during pregnancy, and how keeping a high about of protein in my diet can pretty much eliminate any issues with High BP. So I have tripled the amount I was getting, which wasn’t much since I was having a pretty severe aversion to meat. But I’ve been able to start supplementing with Whey protein powder and dairy. I make a shake every morning and it’s making a HUGE difference! I don’t have to watch my sodium intake as closely, which is great – though I’m still very aware of it.  If you’re interested, here’s the recipe I made up: 


8oz organic OJ
2 cups frozen organic Strawberries
1 cup 2% Greek Yogurt
1 Organic banana
2 Scoops of Vanilla flavored Whey Protein Powder 


Each scoop of protein powder has about 16 grams of protein, the yogurt has about 24, strawberries have 2. So by 10 am, I’ve already consumed close to 60 grams of protein! Now the recipe I gave you there makes over 32 oz. So I usually finish it in about a two hour period because it’s pretty filling. So after that, I get my protein where I can. Usually ending up between 80 – 100 grams per day. And my blood pressure is fucking flawless now. What infuriates me is that my doctor just wanted to throw pills at me – barely giving me the opportunity to do the work myself! Yes, I’m still talking about the OB I haven’t really ever liked… Speaking of which. During the four hours I spent chatting with the doula, (two of which were in the midst of a prenatal massage, yay!) I told her about my OB situation and asked her if she was able to recommend any local OB’s or Midwives. The ironic part is that she listed my current OB as someone she’d recommend for the type of care I’m interested in. Which is when I reiterated how perfect he is on paper, but personality wise it just wasn’t there. She then told me that if I wasn’t 100% comfortable with any practitioner that I should move on. She believes that communication and trust should be completely open and fluid during labor. And anything but can break down the fundamentals of what allows your body do what it needs to do. She presented it on a spiritual level, then backed it up with a scientific explanation of how certain emotions trigger specific hormones that can hinder the production of the natural form of Pitocin, therefore prolonging/delaying labor. I can’t remember the actual break down, can I use being naked on a massage table in my living room as an excuse? Regardless, her approach? ME LIKEY.


Sooooo. I have an appointment with a new office on Wednesday. The practice has three OB’s and two midwives. I’ll be seeing a midwife first, and I am so fricken excited. The other cool thing that my doula pointed out is that the newly built hospital we’re planning to deliver in has six suites with laboring bathtubs. While I can’t really reserve one now, she pointed out that most first time Mom’s go eight days past their due dates, which puts me in there on Christmas Day, and followed up by saying in addition statistically patient occupancy is much lower during the holidays, especially Christmas. So I may have a better chance. Of course that could be total BS. Who knows? In actual baby news, there has been a dramatic increase in activity from the kiddo. Especially in just the last week or so. Which is mostly awesome, the only non-awesome part is not bad - it's just weird. Cause the baby, well it's been turned in, like facing my back, and umm. Kicking my rectum. It's the most bizarre sensation I have every felt. And on that note! Happy Tuesday Morning!