I have been dreading the idea of Christmas cards for about 3 months now. Giving and receiving...
After each failed cycle, it became more evident that we would not have happy news to share with with family and friends this holiday season. I'd dreamt of making a Christmas card that included an ultrasound photo. Instead I'm a little terrified about the cards that are heading our way.
I used to love sending out cards. But now I feel pathetic because after 6 years of marriage, it's still just the two of us - and the dog. I imagine the people who know about us shaking their heads with pity when they see just the three of us on another card. And the others who don't know wondering aloud whether or not we're ever going to have children. I do realize that's pretty unrealistic, so thanks to the tools I've learned in therapy, when I get too deep into that thought I'm able to stop myself now and think instead about how I'm actually am very proud of the three of us. I love my husband, and I'm proud to be his wife. I'm proud of the life and home we built together. But still, sending out a card with just the three of us?... I don't know.
As for my cycle, today is CD3. I was able to get my Letrozole dosage increased - woo hoo! I'd like to thank you all for your input on my last post about your IUI protocol. I'm planning to send an email to Dr. C regarding the crappy timing on my previous failed cycles, and inform him of my new strategy for the timing of my IUI this month. I'm curious to see what he'll have to say... I don't know when I'll see him next, I'll go in on Dec 6th for my follie check, which is a Sunday so I'm not sure who will be on call that day. Whatever.
For the most part I am feeling very hopeful about this next cycle. Now that I know our timing will be more accurate and that I might even have three follies to catch a spermie or two. (We're totally down with twins.) We've had a pretty nice weekend so far, just busy decorating the house now. It's been hard getting into the spirit of the season this year, so maybe cramming it down my throat at home will do the trick. Hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving.
20 comments:
Hope is good. Glad that you're speaking up to your doc regarding timing. I'm hoping that's the thing that works.
Hey girl,
I totally understand the Christmas Card sadness. I've been envisioning a pregnant me on a Christmas card for way too long now. Yet another year goes by with the three of us as well (although maybe we'll get the cat in on the action this year?!). I'll be thinking about you with this next cycle. Hugs!
I'm glad to hear you'll be talking with your RE about your IUI timing. And if you have 3 follicles that totally adds to your chances. As for the Christmas cards ... all I can do is send you a big hug. It's a wonderful holiday but it's also one that can bring sadness. Take good care of yourself during this month and try to focus on you and your husband's well-being.
I totally relate on the xmas card front! Every year I tell my husband that I don't want to send out a photo...and I dread the stacks of cute family cards that we'll get. But, I also love that you're taking comfort in the strength of your love, marriage and home. I feel the same. I like to think these experiences are making us stronger and will make us even better parents. I really hope this cycle is the one. I'm on day five so we're pretty close....
I was seriously about to write a post about this same thing...the one thing I've always looked forward to was sending out cards with our cute little family...bust.
I hope your appointment goes well, and I look forward to hearing what your doctor has to say. It HAS to work this time:)
Seriously, I hear you on the Christmas cards. We're approaching 5 years of marriage and I feel like we've just hit that "I wonder why they don't have kids....?" stage.
I am hopeful for you this cycle!! Glad your RE is making some changes to the meds/ timing.
These are some of the times that I am grateful for being from a different culture. Christmas cards isn't something I have to deal with, thankfully! But I hear you, I feel that way even during conversations, and on FB etc. People talk about their kids, I pipe in with stories about Simba. People post pictures of their kids on FB, and I post pictures of Simba. Pathetic....
Woo hoo for getting a higher Letrozole dose! I hope that with your new dosage and new timing, this is the cycle for you! Hopefully you can still make that announcement on Christmas! ((Hugs))
My DH asked me if we were going to send out Christmas cards this year and I quickly responded " No, not until we have a baby". We bought some cute cards two years ago because they were on sale and I figured I could use them to announce our pregnancy with a picture of DH kissing my pregnant belly!! We were so nieve back then...how depressing!!
You're doing better than me, you're at least sending cards out. I had this dream of sending out our family Christmas cards with out new baby on them for the past 3 years, oh well, there's goes that dream. I hope this cycle works for you, you really deserve it!
I can completely relate to the Christmas Card issue. I used to make my own Christmas Cards every year. And I don't mean simple stuff, I mean some serious crafty-ness. The first few years of TTC, it wasn't so bad as I still had hope for the future. Last year, I didn't make my own, I did the CVS printed out route. This year, I don't know if I am even up to that...
So glad that you got your dosage uped. And I really hope that your email to RE about the timing will make this cycle "the one" - and next year you won't have to worry about Christmas Cards - you will have a great new baby pic to put on it!
Your cards have the three of you looking happy and loving each other. That is all that matters. Enjoy the holidays, the three of you. Next year with an extra family member you will have less one on one time. Happy Holidays:-)
I know that feeling about Christmas cards. A few years ago with sent out adorable photo postcards of us and the dogs for Christmas. We really didn't know anyone at our same "stage" with kids than anyway. It felt right. Now, sending that same card just reminds me that we're getting left behind. I hear you...and I'm sorry you're feeling the same. (((HUGS)))
I hear you on the onslaught of Christmas cards with smiling families. It can be a little like a stab in the heart. And the "braggy" holiday newsletters...I hate those even more..."la la lah, our family grew AGAIN this year with the addition of baby X. We are just so delighted!"
I still tape all the cards we receive up on our door and, each year, it's more and more of a kidfest.
Hopefully, one day sooner rather than later, all of our own family pics will be sent out with smiling faces.
((HUGS)) - I am really, really hoping for some nice juicy follies.
Take your hope and let it wash allllll over you. You deserve to be hopeful and at peace!
We skipped Christmas cards last year and although I felt bad about it, I know that they got cards from other people and might not have noticed ours was missing. I bought some cards this year, though, I can't go two years in a row without them!
Hugs, Melissa.
L
Oh man, Melissa. I was seriously just thinking the same thing: How much I'm dreading receiving all those cards featuring new smiling babies and pregnant bellies (If I've done my calculations correctly, I should be receiving close to 7 this year). It's really painful.
But you know what? I would proudly display a Christmas card from you that boasted your DH and your pup....because they're awesome! They're your family, and your family is beautiful.
I'm so excited for this coming cycle! I have such a great feeling about this improved timing. Like they always say, "Timing is everything!" (hardee har) =)
I know what you mean about feeling pathetic about the three of you. We have been married for almost 13 years and have 3 dogs. I used to send out pics of all of us for Christmas, but lately I have been thinking of how pathetic and sad that looks. I don't even think people wonder about me having kids anymore.
I am not putting any cards on my mantel this year of pregnant bellies or laughing children sitting by a tree!
Hi, thanks for checking in on me :) Actually, doing OK. D&C was last week and went as smoothly as those things can go. Hardest part was being around family right after and pretending nothing was wrong (we didn't tell anyone). I'm focused now on moving forward and that is the only thing that really helps.
Good luck this cycle! I'm glad you're doing something to make sure the timing is correct. Sometimes we have to push the change, we honestly know some aspects of our body better than our REs.
Here from the Stirrup Queen's Friday roundup. I hear you on the Christmas cards. But you know, I still send out one of me & my dh every few years. I figure, this is MY family, & I am proud of us, just as we are. And as much as I enjoy seeing photos of my friends' kids, so often, they send pictures of JUST the kids -- never a photo of the whole family. I have friends that I haven't "seen" in years & years, although I get a photo of their kid(s) every year.
My boss & her dh (who are childless, whether by choice I have no idea) used to send out Christmas card photos of her two cats. JUST the cats. In silly poses. One year they hung both cats up in stockings on the fireplace. Another year they put Santa hats on them. They had to take a gazillion pictures to get one that worked of course (& this was pre-digital cameras...!) but the results were hilarious.
True that on the Christmas cards! Same for us, except we don't even have animals. I ask myself how many people really want our faces plastered on their fridge. My sister-in-law says she would want one,though!
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