I'd just like to say one thing before I get into the cycle gab, if you haven't tried the Caramel Brulee Latte from Starbucks, DO IT, do it NOW. They are f'ing fantastic!
Anyway... So I did email Dr. C. The long and short of it is that I expressed my frustration over the timing of my IUI's and lack of attention from him. And he politely explained that their timing methods are proven, but conceded that not all cycles are the same, and agreed to change up the timing with this next cycle. He's very nice and extremely tactful when dealing with crazy unpregnant women. But that doesn't change the fact that we will be looking for a new RE if this cycle doesn't work. He's not the whole reason we'll be shopping, honestly driving up to the city several times a month is getting REALLY old. I know we're lucky that it's not hours away and we have more than two choices of clinics within 30 miles, but inconvenience is relative, right?. If I can go to an equally impressive clinic and not have to put up with traffic and expensive parking, then I'm going to take advantage of that...
And speaking of moving on, Brian and I have been talking a lot about what our next steps are going to be. We're both completely aware that our IUI's days are probably numbered. We assume it's only a matter of time before they recommend that we move on to IVF. We've discussed it a lot and both feel that at that point we'd probably just move on to adoption. We of course love the idea of me being pregnant some day, but our ultimate goal is to be a family. We just want children in our lives... However they may come. Financially IVF is going to be very difficult for us to afford, so if we're going to shell out 20k, we'd prefer it go to something with higher odds of us ending up with a baby. I guess we're just super conservative that way. And none of this is set in stone, we're not ready to stop doing treatments. I'd really like to move on to injectables with our next round of IUI's, but it's also good to have a plan.
As for Brian and I, we're doing a lot better. I think the fact that I am slowly emerging from the fog has been helpful, but the counseling is making a significant difference as well. It's nice to feel close again. I missed him so much. Brian thank you for putting up with my crazy. I promise someday all this heartache will be worth it some how. When we're grandparents, maybe... I love you dear.
14 comments:
Oh Melissa, it is so good to read your words again. I have missed knowing what is going on with you and reading your thoughts. I'm sorry you are still dealing with the painful ache of IF, I am hoping that a little change of timing goes a long way for your next IUI cycle.... I'm glad you and Brian are feeling closer, that support and love is everything when going through this. Always here for you girl - I wonder if we're still cycle buddies??
I love that you are advocating for yourself - I am pulling so hard for you. I like the thought of injectables - like me, it sounds like you need to make a bunch of follies to have a shot. That being said, I hope this time works and you do not have to worry about it.
All of this is great news. I'm so glad that you have a doctor that will listen and adjust as you need... and if he doesn't that you have another option close by. Inconvenience is totally relative... I never really minded having to drive 2-4 hours to the RE, it was totally worth it.
It's great to hear that you and B are finding each other again. IF is so hard on marriage... you grieve differently, you cope differently... it's hard especially when you need them to be there for you and they don't have it in them because they need you just as much and you don't have it in you to help them. It's a terrible cycle, but once you find your way out once, it gets easier if it happens again.
Hugs, Melissa. I'm sending all my warmth to you today and always.
I'm glad you Dr. is going to change the timing of the IUI. He is the expert BUT you know your body better than any Dr. does. I hope this cycle works so you don't have to shell out 20k to have a baby, even though adoption is a wonderful thing.
It's good to hear that you are slowly coming out of the fog and getting closer with your husband again. Infertility is hard on marriage.
I'm so glad that you're feeling a bit better and relationship is stronger. Very often, if we're strong enough to make it through these awful times, our marriages are so much stronger for it!
Also glad that you knocked some sense into Dr. C! Of course his timing is proven, but "Duh" on the fact that all cycles aren't the same either! Hopefully, the new timing will be just the difference you needed!
(((HUGS)))
I'm so happy to hear that counselling is helping you get out of the fog and that as a result your relationship with Brian is getting stronger. That's one of the best thing that can happen when you go through the dreaded IF.
I'm also glad to hear you have a plan on your hands. That always makes me feel better. And I'm over the moon that you're being your own health advocate. I always said, doctors know a lot and it's wise to listen to them but who nobody knows your body better than you do. Good for you for speaking up.
I do hope, though, that this is it for you and you finally get the prize. It's about time too. Sending you all my positive energy your way every day because I don't know when IUI day is.
Stay strong, girly!
Melissa, your post has a positive ring to it and a clear plan -- something that I hope is giving you lots of peace of mind.
Proud of you for speaking your mind to your doc! It can be so hard to do.
And I loved your call out at the end to your DH. :) Someone earlier commented about how all this hardship can bring couples closer together, and I think that's true, too.
Always, always hoping for you. And hope to see you soon. XO
Very sweet post!
Uh-huh, carmel brulee lattee's are da bomb! They are my Friday and Saturday treats.
Glad you're feeing hopeful and less foggy. I worry about all of us at our down times. They are so, so dark. But having a great partner is a true blessing and it sounds like you are blessed there. I'm glad you seem at peace if this takes you down the adoption route. But injectables can up those success rates just enough - you never know!!
I am glad to hear that your RE is taking your suggestion on timing. I like your plan ... it's nice to have some things laid out in your mind about how the future is going to proceed, but also it's great that you realize it's flexible and can be changed if you get further information or your feelings about things change over time.
Hey Girl,
Like many others have said, I'm glad you are being an advocate for YOU, sometimes that's what it takes. I also totally agree with you about shopping around and not simply settling with an RE, if we were not bound by insurance we'd def be shopping.
I also think it'll be a good step to start injections if this cycle doesn't work. No point going through the same thing over and over if it's not working, right. I know for me that injections did the trick!
Thanks for always commenting on my blog, it always makes me feel better. I'll try and be better about commenting on yours :D
This is a great post. I'm glad your state of mind is improving and things with DH are more solid. Just like us girls, guys have no idea how to deal with all of this and it is HARD. But, we're all going to be stronger for it.
And, it's also great your looking to the future and thinking about your options. That type of long-term thinking helps me deal day to day, even though I know I may change my mind down the road. It's just good to know there are options.
I am hoping this cycle is a winner for you guys! It could happen anytime and you deserve it.
I totally agree on the new latte. Just simply dangerous season. I won't be there this Sunday night, but I want to say thanks for all the support. If you are thinking about switching up, I do recommend Stanford and IVF might be less than you think it is--especially if you don't need as aggressive drug protocol as I did.
See you soon.
V
((HUGS)) Melissa. I love that you are doing what's best for YOU. You are a strong person. It's a roller coaster and it sounds like you are climbing up again.
Post a Comment