Okay I'm Freaking Out A Little

First things first, I have no news. (sorry if the title was misleading) Other than I'm really starting to freak out. The anticipation is KILLING me.

With the exception of the first part of my post yesterday, I'm not typically the type who talks about their symptoms in the wait. I usually just say I feel nothing, even when I notice a thing or two. Partially because I hate pointless drama, and don't want to get any ones hopes up, namely mine. Partially because I'm un peu superstitious. But mostly because I really do my damnedest to ignore and disqualify them. That being said: most of yesterday afternoon I had, what I thought was, pretty significant uterine cramping. And later in the evening it turned into lower back cramping. The lower back cramping is what I typically get the moment my period shows up. But not for very long. I rarely have cramps at all. Could it have been the crappy seats at the Sharks game? Possibly. But what kills me is today I feel NOTHING. Not a cramp, not a twinge. Nothing.

And I'm starting to freak out.

I'm DYING to take a test, yet I'm utterly terrified of the results.

Tomorrow marks one year exactly that we got our IVF diagnosis. I can't believe it's been a whole fucking year. I'm freaking out. Agonizing over what that test will tell me tomorrow. This wait- is killing me....