Welcome!

Welcome ICLW Readers!

ICLW always puts me in a great mood! How could anyone not look forward to a little extra love? So here I am, 7DPO after our very first dIUI..........................................................This is me................ Doing a whole...... LOT......Of waiting...............Sound Familiar?

My husband and I were diagnosed with Severe Male Factor Infertility a week before Christmas, 2008. This month officially marks my 24th cycle off of birth control, and I can honestly say I will NEVER go back on it again. After MUCH deliberation we chose DI, over IVF w/ ICSI. The choice to use donor insemination was definitely not an easy one, but there were several factors which made it the right option for us. With the abnormalities in his S/A's, we were concerned about the success rates vs the costs of a one time shot at IVF. Which leads us to the other deciding factor. Money. Or lack thereof, our insurance covers NOTHING. We have spent over $10,000 dollars in tests and procedures so far. I know that is a drop in the bucket compared to other folks out there, but it's still a lot. Getting the money for IVF would be extremely difficult, and would require an undefinable amount of time to save up for it. And to be honest, I wasn't sure I could wait that long or just how much more of this I could take. And as my husband finally put it: He just wants to be a dad.

We are very aware of that choosing DI is going to be a life long journey of challenges, including how to balance honesty and privacy/discretion. Helping our child understand just how very much they are loved, and wanted, and how and why we chose this route. And the particularly crunchy process of continually learning to accept the loss of a "biological child".

When I take the time to step back and look at our life. I'm able to see that Infertility and DI parenting were challenges that are in our lives for a reason. We will learn and grow from this experience, just like the rest of the adversities that life brings. I'd also like to do my part in getting rid of the stigma's that go along with Donor Sperm, by educating and cultivating acceptance - without being to preachy.

But back to the matters at hand... my TWW. My period is due next Tuesday the 28th. So far my plans are not to test until I'm late or suspiciously early. Still I wonder if I'll really be able to holdout. Especially because I just bought a box of HPT's. That's the funny thing. I'm too superstitious to look up my potential due date online, but I can't help myself from buying a pack of HPT's, even though I already have three in my bathroom. To be fair they are three different kinds. One left over Internet cheapie, one digital that I'm saving just so I can see the word "pregnant" - minus the not, for once. And also one EPT. ANYWAY, against my better infertile judgement, I'm decidedly hopeful. It also doesn't help that my good friend Katie just got her BFP and I'm so excited, you'd think it was mine! Oh, and I'll take all the crossed fingers I can get in the mean time if you wouldn't mind. Thanks!