Just to warn you - this is HELLA long.
So we pull into the main parking lot and head towards the long term area. We were laughing because though our bags were packed and ready to go - they were at home and the only thing we had to bring up to L&D was an 8 pack of Frost Glacier, Gatorade that I'd been too lazy to bring into the house. For the record I was always planning to bring that Gatorade to the hospital, but I left it sitting in my trunk for like two weeks.
So let that be a lesson. In case you are as dumb as me, the hospital bags that you have packed and ready to go, are pretty much useless if you don't put them in your fucking car.
So we get up to L&D and the woman at the main desk asks for my name. I begin to say my last name when a smiley face nurse pops her head around the corner and says "Oh, Brian and Melissa, right?". Our midwife had called over and gotten the only Charge Nurse who was not a replacement due to the strike. She had been with that hospital for years, and tried to work during most of the strikes so that things wouldn't fall apart completely with different staffing. So Susie (our midwife) called and spoke with this Charge Nurse, named Sharon. She told Sharon our whole story and sent her the detailed Birth Plan we'd hoped to follow.
Sharon took us to a room toward the back of L&D, and showed us in. I was grateful she'd been able to get us a room with a laboring tub, like we had hoped for. We started to explain to her that we understood Susie's concern, but really didn't want to use Pitocin unless it was totally necessary. She listened to all of our concerns, and agreed to stall on it for a bit. Her main focus was getting me on the monitor to see what my contractions were looking like. As it turned out, though they weren't super heavy, they were indeed consisten and just about three minutes apart. Sharon happily explained that since my contractions were steady, she would be able to postpone the Pitocin.
That's about when it dawned on us that this was really it. We were not going to be able to go home now, and the next time we did, we'd have a baby in our arms.
I called Teresa and let her know we'd been admitted and asked her to bring our stuff up to the hospital on her way. When she got to our room, we hugged and laughed. It was a really good atmosphere, and we were all pretty amped. Brian and Teresa started chatting excitedly about "the baby" and how amazing this all was. I stopped them in their tracks and announced that they were not allowed to get cheerleadery or mushy. Those thing detracted from my focus and I wasn't able to get through my contractions properly because they made me cry. Which made me sound nuts, but I didn't care.
At this point my contractions were all still back labor, but very manageable. Since I've struggled with lower back issues over the last few years, I have learned how to deal with that type of pain quite well. So I felt very comfortable getting through each wave.
Here we are hanging out, joking around and looking for something good to watch while we waited for my hooha to put on a show.
45 seconds later, me, having a contraction. And Brian taking the "lets find something good on TV" thing too seriously. (my belly looks all weird because of the monitors.)
At this point it was close to 5pm, and Sharon came in to check on things and make sure we were getting settled in. She told me that Susie would be coming to the hospital around 6pm to check on me and would probably do an internal then, so she wouldn't bother putting me through one herself. She sat and chatted with us, and we were just telling her how glad we were to have her and that she was really great and we were worried about what kind of staffing might be here to cover the stike. That's when she smiled and told us the other reason she came in was to let us know that her shift would be over in two hours and she'd be going home... But, her being the kickass Charge Nurse that she was, she scoured through all of the nurses on staff and found two that were experienced with Natural Child Birth. Turns out that one of them had even done two home births of her own, so she was particularly well versed.
As promised, just after 6pm Susie came strolling through the door. She greeted us all and asked how things were going while she felt around my belly. Then she told me we'd have to do an internal - bleh- what she didn't tell me was that the baby's head still had not dropped and she was about to move it down manually. Umm yeah, Ouch. It was smart of her not to say anything in advance because I think it would have ben harder on me physically had I been aware of what she was about to do. But in doing so, she most definitely got an expletive filled talking to from me. She forgave me though. And during her poking and proding around she broke my water.
Shortly after that, my contractions became much more intense. And I decided that standing for a bit was the most comfortable way to get through them. With each contraction I sucessfully zoned out and exercised my breathing techniques. I leaned into Brian while Teresa rubbed my back.
Teresa noticed that my demenor was changing a bit, which indicated that my labor was really progressing. She filled up the tub and suggested I get in. The water was perfectly warm, and was extremely relaxing. It not only completely took the edge off my contractions but it slowed them down a bit too. Which was great because I was able to get a little rest.
And it was a good thing I did because the moment I got out of the tub they started back faster and stronger. To the point where I could barely hold myself up. It was about 9pm. I moved to the bed and layed down on my side. I also began vocalizing through the contractions. A low, and long moan from start to finish. Teresa came to face me, she held my hand and she and Brian both would tell me how great I was doing. Brian stayed on the other side and rubbed my back. He was using the palm of his hand to apply pressure to the small of my back. It helped a lot, though my contractions were all in my abdomen now. And that, I did not handle as well as the back labor. There were probably three or four contractions where I lost my focus and they got away from me. Holy shit did those fucking hurt. I cried through each of those ones and told Teresa and Brian I couldn't do it anymore.
Well before my labor we had discussed the possibility of me not being able to do it naturally. What if I was too tired or felt like I couldn't hack it... I told Teresa and Brian to stall, to divert my attention or even talk me out of it. But instead, they talked me through it.
Teresa would say "I know, I know, it hurts. But there - you're done. You never have to do that contraction again!" And Brian just kept encouraging me, telling me how proud he was and how great I was doing. These contractions were hard. And relentless. And if it weren't for Brian and Teresa working as hard as they did to support me, I don't think I could have gotten through it without medication.
This is right about the time I started puking. With each contraction I started to feel more and more nauseous. I think I threw up about four times. But I barely noticed it, to tell you the truth.
I started feeling like I had to pee. Really bad. So I asked for them to walk me to the toilet. It was about ten feet away. I sat down on the toilet, but everytime I would relax enough to be able to start to pee, I'd have another contraction. And they hurt a whole lot more when I was sitting, than if I was standing or laying down. So Brian was standing in front of me, and he'd lift me off the seat each time. By now, I was putting my whole weight on him through each contraction. Poor guy, the only comfortable position for me at that point was very hard on him, but he sucked it up and didn't complain once. And the contractions were so intense that I couldn't do anything but breath and vocalize. This is when I had my bloody show. It was thick and sort of stringy. I had to have someone help me wipe it off my legs. Which I know sounds embarrasing, but believe me modesty had gone bye-bye hours ago. I couldn't have cared less. Teresa began to tell me that my urge to pee may just be the pressure of the baby, and that maybe I didn't have to go afterall. And in that instant my next contraction hit me like a Mack truck. I did my thing breathing and vocalizing, except at the end of it, my moan turned into a grunt. The nurse who was there checking my monitors, swooped in and shouted "Get her on that bed, right now!"
I was starting to feel the need to push. It was the most overwhelming and primal feeling I have ever encountered.
I was on the bed very quickly and a nurse began to check me. I know it hurt but I didn't care for some reason. The nurse looked across the room to the other nurse and stated firmly that I was "complete".
Fully dilated.
They put an oxygen mask on me to help give me a little more energy to start pushing. They also had me sit partially upright. It wasn't long before the urge to push would come on like a wave again, just as the contractions did. But for some reason it didn't hurt anymore. All I could feel was the pressure and need to push. Brian and Teresa stood on either side of me with big silly grins as they talked me through each wave and watched to see my progress.
After ten minutes of pushing, they were able to see the top of the head appear a little more each time I pushed. The nurse reminded me to put my chin to my chest, and decided to have me hold my own legs for leverage. Shortly after a small problem arrose. Even though I still had monitors on my belly they couldn't get a consistent reading on the baby. Which actually meant they weren't able to find a heartbeat at all. Since I was crowning they asked to put an electrode on the baby's head to monitor it's heart rate. The reason they had to inform us is because the electrode would actually pierce the baby's scalp. I wasn't entirely coherent at this point so Brian had to make the decision. He told them to go ahead.
I continued pushing and though they had the electrode hooked up they couldn't figure out how to make the computer work with it. They said they hadn't used that type of equipment before. Had I been able to even remember my own name at that point, I probably would have been scared or pissed off by this scenario.
Evidentlly once I started pushing the nurses paged my midwife, who lived about five minutes away. A new nurse had come in to help set up for baby when she'd been told that Susie was still not here. Considering my progress at that point she shouted across the room to tell the nurse to have me stop pusing.
WHAT?
Yeah, I know. I ignored her.
I later learned that the nurse she was speaking to leaned over to Teresa and said "I don't even know how to explain to her that a woman who hasn't had an epidural, can't stop pushing."
Word.
As it turns out, Susie was down stairs but security wouldn't let her in through the front door. During a strike, any staff that crosses the picket lines must go through a special entrance. But my midwife wasn't havin' that. She told him to call whomever he needed to, but she had a patient delivering and didn't have time to go to the back of the building. He eventually let her in. And just in time. I think she got there within four or five pushes of Leah being born. There was a point during this stage where I felt the burning sensation, but it didn't last long. I definitely complained about it though!
Earlier on we had asked Susie, if conditions were optimal, would it be possible for Brian to catch the baby? She said sure. So once the baby's head was out, she told Brian to grab some gloves. In the short time that he had turned around to get a pair of sterile gloves I had the urge to push again and the next thing we knew she was out! Let me just say, with that last push and the feeling of her finally coming out of my body was the biggest sense of physical relief I think I've ever experienced. You know how in the movies when the baby comes out and the woman falls back with a big sigh. Yeah, it's exactly like that.
They quickly put her on my chest, and all I remember feeling was udder disbelief. There was a baby on my chest. And all I kept saying was hello.
It seemed like a few minutes had gone by when Susie turned to Brian and said
"Well, what do we have, Dad?"
The funny thing is, it totally hadn't even occurred to me to ask if it was a boy or a girl. I was like "Oh... Right!"
Brian walked around to my right side and lifted up the baby's leg. It took him a second but he finally exclaimed "It's a Girl!"
But not in a "Hey, it's a girl" kind of way. More like in a HOLY SHIT, IT'S NOT A BOY?!?!?!" kind of way. Don't get me wrong, he wasn't disappointed. He was just surprised. And I was just as shocked as he was. Secretly, we both would have bet money that it was a boy.
Lesson one in parenting: prepare to be surprised.
Brian, putting her on the scale
She had only been on my chest for a few minutes when they told me they were concerned by her lack of crying. They wanted to check her out. Reluctantly I allowed them. Only to find out later that baby's who are delivered without medications cry less... In an attempt to distract me, Teresa demanded to know the name we'd kept secret from everyone throughout the pregnancy. Our daughter would be Leah Marjorie. Brian and I both liked the name Leah, but Marjorie is my paternal Grandmother's name. We are very close. (Hannah, was our second choice {for a first name}. But we wanted to see what she looked like before deciding)
Anyway, everything was fine with Leah and they got her back to me quickly. By now, Susie had me up in the stirrups so that we could deliver the placenta. The moment I felt another contraction I was able to get it out with one push. Susie then began cleaning and sewing me up. They ended up having to give me pitocin post delivery because I was losing too much blood.
Surprisingly, I didn't cry at all. And I'm a crier. But I was just too high I guess. I felt like a million fricken bucks.
No pain, all euphoria.
Brian's family was waiting out in the hall, but I wanted to try feeding her first. I spent about 15 minutes feeding her and then we let them in. They were beside themselves. (My family came the next morning). Things started to wind down. I was settled in, the room had been returned to it's previous state (sans delivery equipment). Brian and I had said goodbye to his folks, and we sent Teresa home to be with her boys and husband. Brian laid down on the couch across from me and was starting to drift off, Leah was in the bassinet, next to me. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I wasn't even remotely tired...
A nurse came in a few minutes later and told us it was time to bathe her. I had asked that Brian be the one to give her her first bath, and that it be done in our room with our own soap. Brian had been asleep for about 10 minutes at this point, so he wasn't thrilled to be woken up, but he knew how important it was to me. During her bath she had her first poop. Good timing baby girl!
When they finally finished Brian got back in bed. I asked the nurse to hand the baby to me. I laid there with her in my arms and took turns staring at her, then Brian, and back to her again... The nurse came back in to check on me and asked if I wanted to keep holding her. I told her I wanted to, but that I would probably sleep better if I didn't. Which turned out to be wrong, because from the moment they put her back in the bassinet, I just kept peaking over to check on her. I couldn't sleep. So the next time a nurse came in, I asked her to hand Leah to me again.
The next 24 hours flew by, and by noon on Christmas Eve we were being discharged and sent home.
Me being wheeled out.
This is when I finally started crying.
I'd waited for this particular moment for a very long time.
I cried here too.
Can you see now, why it took me two months to get all that down?
No, I know. I'm lame.
So yes, our labor and delivery when very well. One thing I would really like to say is this; Yes, natural child birth is hard and yes, it hurt. But it's doable. I think if all women were able to prepare for how to deal with contractions and are able to have a strong support system, 95% of them would be able to do it without meds.
If you have any questions about the birth or labor, please feel free to ask.
